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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

How do you structure your life when they refuse to do anything?

4 replies

calixtrix · 27/08/2023 17:05

Ds12 (autistic, attends SEN school) over the last year or so had gradually consented to doing less and less - he now will go to school and stay at home and that's about it. He refuses to go to see family, go for walks, go on holiday, day trips, clubs etc - all things he previously loved and enjoyed.

When pushed to do any of the above we can often make him, but he becomes a horrible person and ruins it for everyone. At least at home and school he's pleasant and nice to be around. He has lots of very valid reasons why he doesn't want to do any of these things and he's big enough now that we can't just put him in the car and crack on. He's also not old enough to be left alone while we do something - realistically, there's a fair few more years before that's feasible.

I'm feeling quite sad about it all. I feel like family life is just at a standstill and we spend every weekend in the house. No one else is remotely bothered except me. I can't see us going on a holiday ever again really and I love to travel. Maybe I just need to do everything on my own now?

How do you structure your time when kids won't do anything any more but aren't old enough to be left?

OP posts:
SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 30/08/2023 17:54

What's your family like @calixtrix?

Have you got a DH/DP and are there any other siblings?

LittleBearPad · 30/08/2023 17:57

My two for the most part don’t get a choice and will generally be pretty chirpy once I’ve crowbarred them off the sofa (at the moment anyway). However how much of this do you think is pre-teen related and how much could it be his ASD?

Feverly · 30/08/2023 18:01

Would your autistic son enjoy the unknown, the noises, expectations and upheaval that a holiday would involve? If not, yeah, don’t make him go.

This thread should be in the SEN topic surely?

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 30/08/2023 18:06

This thread should be in the SEN topic surely

Do agree with that bit. You'll probably get some good tips in the SN Teens Section Flowers

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