Hi - I'm worried this will come across as some kind of stealth boast but this is def not my intention at all, I am genuinely at a loss as to how to navigate this.
My eldest DC(9) is, it seems, quietly extremely competitive. You wouldn't know it if you met him, it's only once he's home and with just us that he lets on, but it's worrying me that he isn't able to enjoy his successes as he seems to focus on the 'failures' (which often aren't failures at all!)
How can I change his mindset about this?? My DH & I are definitely not the kind of parents who if he were to get 99% on an exam we'd go 'what happens to the 1%?' We are always saying how proud we are of him and of the effort he puts into things, but yet he still puts this massive pressure on himself with some things and I don't know where it comes from really.
He is bright, so does well at school, but he's struggled a bit with some low level bullying on occasions so I don't know if this is feeding a desire to prove himself maybe?
He has recently become quite good at a particular sport and has started to be in with a chance to win a few things, despite being one of the youngest there. However, one thing that worries me is that rather than enjoying placing 2nd, he focuses on the fact he didn't get 1st? He's doing really well to place at all, and I wish he'd see that... and while I know it's good to aim high, he's already exceeding what anyone would be expecting of him, so I don't know how to get him to just enjoy it rather than come home feeling disappointed as HE feels he could have done better...
any tips? Anyone know how to handle this?