Year 6 to year 7

[Cowsontheloose]

Hi all.
I have an 11yo DD who is due to start high school in September. As time is wearing on, she getting more anxious about it.
Just tonight we caught the bus together so she can practice for when she starts school, and she flipped out because she said I was forcing her into uncomfortable social situations.
She isn't the best socially, we've tried working on it, she goes to clubs and sports afterschool. I just think she likes being a loner.

Any tips? I'm really stumped. Shes an only child if that matters.

Any advice welcomee.

Anyone?

You may get more help if you post on the primary or secondary board.

You are doing the right thing prepping her, but if she is anxious she might be in flight or fight.

Will she have any of her friends going she can catch the bus to with? My son cannot see himself walking but isn't 11 until summer hols, so is one of the youngest. We are prepared to either have to walk or drive him until he has been there a little while and made friends and possibly then wants to walk with them.

It's a big scary leap that so many child and adults have to take. Your starting to prepare her early which is really good. Can you do the school run for first week or so in September? Is their a friend she can catch the bus with? Some kids take to the bus journey easy others it takes a while. I have 4DC and my eldest struggled the most, even know she hates buses, luckily she's a independent adult now. My youngest has sen and we worried about him but he copied the best. Mine also never caught the bus together one would get the first bus and one would get the second, same on return journey (only 2 DC at school at same time) you just need to keep practicing and i remember driving behind the bus to try to help with their anxiety

Thanks. I will be dropping her off on a morning anyways as its on my way to work, but she will be riding the bus home. She is going to a secondary school where 75% of her current year group will also be going.

Shes just so anxious about it all. 😔 not just the bus, everything.

My daughter was just like this. I don't really have any words of wisdom except I kind of told her she would have to get on with it, which didn't really go down well but that was the fact tbh!
She was extremely apprehensive her first few days but got into the swing of things after that and the anxiety around school seems to have gone. She's nearing the end of y7 now.

@AmberTart thanks. I've tried to do this but she's just so sensitive.
I remember being her age and I'm sure I was more resilient. I've really tried to build her confidence up.

I suppose I will just persevere

Honestly there’s not loads you can do. Acknowledge her feelings, explain they are natural- and then try not to over focus on it. She will get through it as will you.

She sounds like my DD to be honest, her school is less than 10minutes away and she point blank refused at first to walk to school and back. I feel like she feels awkward asking people personal things such as whether they live local.
Last week I walked with her and then slowly started to stop at certain points and encouraged her to walk the rest of the way, I still feel so guilty, specially when they go from us doing the school runs too suddenly telling them they have to walk/catch a bus.

How is she getting on @Cowsontheloose? I hope it's not as bad as she feared

There's something called the anxiety ladder, or something like that. You have the goal at the top then break it down into lots of chunks, so starting with something really easy like maybe looking at the school website, then further up would be going to the bus stop, then getting on the bus etc. You do it together and keep trying for each step but with no stress if it doesn't work that time. Our LA ran a course for parents of anxious children over the summer which was helpful, it was run by the inclusion team, so maybe try them?

Its been far, far easier than we anticipated. Its always the fear of the unknown. Shes really stepped up.and shown such maturity