My 12 year old (just turned) is a very quiet little boy, always has been. He's not the chattiest about 'stuff', has never been the 'what is that, what happens when', would ask questions but only about things he really wanted to know, not necessarily the whole world and no 'why why why' when he was growing up. We knew when he was 4 that he had glue ear and had grommets which sorted that, regular ear tests since so we know his hearing is OK(ish). Anyway, I would say between the ages of 8 to now I got more and more frustrated at what I perceived to be his lack of interaction with us and (blaming peri menopause before HRT) I was quite a shouty parent. Often out of frustration at having asked the same question several times, but not getting any feedback/answer, etc.
He's been tested when he was younger for any issues because school found it odd he was so quiet and 'removed' (their words), but the hearing issues being fixed resolved all of that. He's academically fine, has friends, we do a lot as a family. I know he's lonely, the day we talked about there not being any siblings was one of the worst for both of us I think.
I've alienated him I think and turned him into a bit of a nervous wreck. Now I've been on HRT about a year I can see the damage I've done and I have no idea how to undo it. I'm away with work for two days and got frustrated before he left as we were trying to show him how to do the front door key and he just wants to get going, is annoyed at us, I get annoyed at him, he leaves and we're both upset with each other. I've messaged to say I'm sorry, I love you, you'll do great today but I need to do better.
But I don't know how. Any guidance would be gratefully received. His dad is far more patient with him (he's also very quiet and not a chatty type), but he also gets frustrated at times. Year7 has been hard on DS and we've tried our best to help him through it, but I think at times he takes his frustration with big school out on us and we have to obviously suck it up, that's the job. The rest though I need help with.