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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Original poster

Body image

7 replies

Healthworrierextraordinaire · 27/04/2023 15:34

I took my DD (5'7" tall and very slender, size 4 to 6 adult clothes) shopping today for a dress for a special occasion. She tried on dress after dress. She got more and more disheartened and, by the end, was quite upset. She feels like nothing hangs right on her, she's too tall, her legs are too long etc etc.

She keeps saying she wishes she was shorter, and she doesn't want to get any taller, but it's likely she's still got quite a bit of growing still to do. She hasn't started her periods yet, and I understand that girls continue to grow for a couple of years after that... plus her Dad is 6'2 and he's the shortest man in his family! I'm 5'8" myself.

I'm trying to bolster her confidence, reminded her that her height isn't something she can control, and that her favourite singer (Taylor Swift) is known for her height and long legs. It's falling flat.

It makes me so sad. How can I help her?

OP posts:
Drummend01 · 27/04/2023 19:05

Regardless of their body type almost teens will go through this phase. You’re doing the right thing by pointing out other taller women, perhaps continue this and show her some of the catwalk models that are tall and slim, or find other tall celebs (Zendaya is tall I think?).

before taking her shopping again maybe have a look yourself on Google or Pinterest for dress types for tall slim women, some styles will suit her body more. Then you can show her and give her an idea of what to look for when you do go shopping, to reduce to risk of dresses that don’t suit her and knock her confidence

Drummend01 · 27/04/2023 19:08

Does she do any sport? Just another thought that lots of sports favour taller players like netball, volleyball, basketball. You could encourage her into something like this where her height is an advantage to help her realise it’s a blessing in disguise

Original poster
Healthworrierextraordinaire · 27/04/2023 19:26

Drummend01 · 27/04/2023 19:05

Regardless of their body type almost teens will go through this phase. You’re doing the right thing by pointing out other taller women, perhaps continue this and show her some of the catwalk models that are tall and slim, or find other tall celebs (Zendaya is tall I think?).

before taking her shopping again maybe have a look yourself on Google or Pinterest for dress types for tall slim women, some styles will suit her body more. Then you can show her and give her an idea of what to look for when you do go shopping, to reduce to risk of dresses that don’t suit her and knock her confidence

Thank you. I think part of the problem is that she has a very fixed idea of the style she wants, but when she tries them on she's disappointed (although I thought she looked beautiful). Looking up alternative styles in advance of our next trip is a really good idea.

OP posts:
Original poster
Healthworrierextraordinaire · 27/04/2023 19:31

Drummend01 · 27/04/2023 19:08

Does she do any sport? Just another thought that lots of sports favour taller players like netball, volleyball, basketball. You could encourage her into something like this where her height is an advantage to help her realise it’s a blessing in disguise

Yes, lots of sports. Unfortunately she can't play basketball competitively at the moment as there isn't a girls team nearby and she could only play on the mixed team until she turned 12.

OP posts:
HVPRN · 27/04/2023 19:33

How old sis he?

My daughter went through this and is currently coming out of this.

Original poster
Healthworrierextraordinaire · 27/04/2023 19:39

HVPRN · 27/04/2023 19:33

How old sis he?

My daughter went through this and is currently coming out of this.

She's 12.

OP posts:
HVPRN · 27/04/2023 19:54

Apologies, I thought the mixed team comment implied she was slightly older.

Yes, this is the age my daughter went through this (12y-14y). We talked about everyone has different body types/shapes and all women's bodies are beautiful. What a boring world if we all looked the same. I would compliment her insecurities and point out they are her assets. What didn't help at the time, is she is a completely different body type to myself, therefore we did lots of positive conversations and affirmations and found positive role models who were confident with their body's that were similar to hers.

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