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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Constant drama with girls in class

4 replies

23Elfie · 02/04/2023 16:50

Not posted on this board before but seen most post get a reply with good advice so here goes!

DD is in yr4 so all aged 8/9.
Most the girls play together and there's always been a few spats here and there between them as kids do.
However - the last few weeks she's come out of school and there's been some kind of drama every single day!!

Today she's come home from her dads for the weekend and said that on Friday one girl (who is known for being a bit 'savage' and just bluntly speaking her mind) caused an argument.
DD says she was just finishing a task and was about to use the last bead to finish, when 'F' dives in and takes it. F was not doing the task DD was and didn't need the bead. DD said 'oh F I was about to use that can I have it please' and F says - oh DD shut up you're really getting on my nerves at the moment!! Then in wades another girl 'A' and says yeah shut up you keep being horrible to F and DD supposed best friend also told her to shut up and stop being horrible, then mouthed sorry at her after.
(Asked DD if anything else had happened with F she said no)

Whyyyyyyyyy do girls have to have drama constantly? I don't think that DD is an angel but equally I never hear her say that someone stood up for her when she's involved in the drama.

I'm sick of hearing about the daily crap and also wondering why she never says someone stood up for her - seems if anyone gets involved it's never on her side?

Do you think I'm missing something? She's a fairly quiet child and had to really learn to stand up for herself which she struggled with in year R-3 with 'best friend' who was very domineering. Things got better and I thought they'd all finally cracked just getting along but now it seems not so much.

Any one have any advice how to navigate this? Do I just ignore and let her deal with the playground stuff (they all seem to be friends again a day later) or do I say something else?

Aaarrghhh x

OP posts:
TeddyTrucks · 02/04/2023 17:15

They're all the same! Y6 was the worst for both my girls. Thankfully they were put in different blocks at secondary school and both have made some lovely new friends that went to different primaries.

Only advice I can give is don't let them join ANY group chats on social media. That was the ultimate downfall for my elder daughter, girls are often spiteful little madams at that age but give them a WhatsApp group and they become feral.

Good luck 💐

23Elfie · 02/04/2023 20:19

TeddyTrucks · 02/04/2023 17:15

They're all the same! Y6 was the worst for both my girls. Thankfully they were put in different blocks at secondary school and both have made some lovely new friends that went to different primaries.

Only advice I can give is don't let them join ANY group chats on social media. That was the ultimate downfall for my elder daughter, girls are often spiteful little madams at that age but give them a WhatsApp group and they become feral.

Good luck 💐

Yep my friend has a daughter in yr5 and said they're all a nightmare and apparently there are WhatsApp groups already!!
I've said no phone until yr6 when she's allowed to leave school and walk home (we live a way from the school so will probably just let her walk to the local shops and meet her there) but I'm not keen on WhatsApp that young.

There apparently is a group chat on Roblox but that can only have 5 per group and she's not in it and doesn't really ever play it which I'm pleased about 😂😂

Argh and they say newborns are the hard bit!?

OP posts:
Raisinsandweetabix · 03/04/2023 19:39

Oh darling.... welcome to the next 10 years... it's hell! Every day brings drama for my 11 year old. Girls suddenly develop a pack mentality at this age and the above poster is absolutely right, do not let her have WhatsApp. We had bullying on TikTok so I confronted the parents and DD vowed never to go on it again. Any girl who dares not to follow the crowd in any slight way will suffer. Buckle up and good luck 😉

WalKat · 04/06/2023 23:32

Ugh it's exactly the same here. The drama started in Y4 and is ongoing in Y6.
I even put her name down for a different school at one point because I got to the end of my tether and we both thought a "fresh start" might help (she didn't get in as it was full!) I think I thought it might just be a "bad mix" of girls in the year group but I honestly think it's just "normal". Definitely echo what has been said about watsapp groups... Full of stupid comments, anger, misunderstandings..

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