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Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.


School behaviour

3 replies

Lucy41 · 26/03/2023 16:09

My 12 year old son is in his first year of secondary school. He has constantly been in trouble since he started in September.
Multiple days of suspension, detention etc.
He was badly bullied in primary school, we were in constant contact wit the school about this.
Teachers now say he disrupts the class is insolent towards the teachers, and doesnt concentrate.
He was also caught vaping, upset another student by calling them a transsexual.

He has been seeing a psychologist for a few weeks now and I’m hoping to get some feedback from her on Thursday when I have a meeting with her.
At home I would say his behaviour is normal preteen behaviour.
He has always had such a sweet nature I honestly don’t recognise the behaviour the school are describing.
My husband and I don’t agree on parenting techniques I prefer to talk things through and explain why certain behaviour is unacceptable and talk about consequences. my husband thinks a physical approach is the way to go which I severely disagree with.
We don’t live in the UK
TIA for reading

OP posts:
TulipsLilacs · 26/03/2023 17:08

Hopefully the psychologist might be able to get to the bottom of it. Maybe it's a reaction to the previous bullying.

3WildOnes · 26/03/2023 17:12

Do you have other school options? Can you homeschool for a bit?

lorisparkle · 26/03/2023 17:35

My ds3 went through a stage at a similar age when he was constantly getting into trouble at school - and talking to other parents their preteens had similar problems. We tried the negative route and it seemed to make things worse. We decided on a really positive approach with loads of rewards and encouragement. He has also joined a gym (specifically supervised for his age group). We have seen a real improvement in his behaviour and have positive reports from school.

With all my ds we had the most problems with them in the preteen/early teen stage.

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