11 Years old wants to go out everyday

[Februarynights]

My daughter is 11 years old.
She is not much streetwise and she is the only child.
We live in about 120k populated town, we are on the suburb, almost feels like a village however most of the town is rough, not a nice area.
My daughter suddenly wants to go out every day, running around with group of friends.
She normally goes to friends houses, had few sleepovers at friends house but they always stayed in the house.
Now she has some new friends in her new school and these meet up at large park, not far from us but where some incidents happened in the past with older teenagers or she also wants to go shops - I am not so keen for her to go out as I feel she is too young.
Also all her friends have an older siblings, so they are used to go out so they are much more streetwise.
She is not very precise on time, anytime I go to pick her up, she always tries to haggle on the time, adding more time, never is on time.
I just worry for her but I don’t want to sound like a helicopter mum.

I think it's normal that she wants to go to the park with friends, however she needs to understand there is a set time and is expected home. If she can't keep up her end of the deal and won't be granted the same freedoms to visit her friends.

See if she wants to invite her friends home as well so you can see who she’s playing with?

@Believeitornot I know her old friends from her old school, plus the new ones seem ok too, however it’s just that they run around the streets, fields, parks what makes me feel uncomfortable.

What did you do at her age?

I think 11, just started secondary school, is exactly when kids start spreading their wings. If her friends are streetwise, it seems a great way for her to learn. Sat at home is never going to help with that
You need to be firm with her telling you where she is going, and keeping you up dated if she moves on - has she got a phone?
You also need to be firm with timings. If she starts mucking about, then she can't go out the next day.

@Mumof1andacat I was child of that age in late 80s so I did go out with friends who all lived in my street, but also we lived in a small village of few hundred people, everyone knew well everyone, there were not ever any issues or incidents with other kids, no drugs, no anything - I can recall really, just a different times which comparing to todays times felt much safer.
I understand she needs to spread her wings to go out with friends but it still causes lots of worries for me, she is quite naive in that way..

@Seeline thank you.
I understand but she never listens in that way. She promises and then she tries to change it to later timings.
Like two days ago I let her go to the park with her friend, they decided to walk across the area into another part of the town to meet other children - I said to back by 5.15 as gets dark, she said she would come at 6pm!

Yes my DS is similar but I have an open door policy so they can come here and I leave them to it. One of his friends parents have the same so they spend less time at the park etc.

Then she can’t go out the next time? If she breaks curfew??

@Believeitornot I’m happy for her to go friends houses or sleepovers as as long I know they are together in the house, which never was an issue.
I just feel worried for her go out , meet unknown people, also where we live there was someone lately following women around, so yeah, probably that’s the reason why I’m so worried that something would happen to her.
I was probably the same at that age, going out with my friends but we all lived in the same street, no crime around really at that time, small village, everyone knew everyone.
Now she tantruming in her room, calling me an idiot that I said no to going out today.

Has she got a phone?

But you need to make it very clear before she goes out what time she needs to be home. Remind her there will be no negotiations on that. Tell her if she is late, she won't be going out the next day.

@Seeline yes she has phone for about a year.
i have Life360 on.
She went out this afternoon with her mates, I decided to let her go and see how she would get on.
Her friends came for her and they went into the park and to one of the friends house. She got back almost on time ( 6 mins late)
I was watching her on Life 360 like a hawk🦅🦅 but managed to relax myself for a bit and popped to Costa for a coffee myself..

If she’s late, it’s half hour earlier next time. Late again, another half hour earlier. Comes back on time, extend by half hour etc.

This is ridiculous 😂
Op if she arrived 6 min late it's very much on time. She just recently started to go out with her friends so its normal to make mistakes with the time at the beggining. I fortunaly live in a safe area but i understand that in your situation you could be more stressed. At least she is not alone she is with a group of friends and logically if someone would target her it would make more sense to find her alone. And she is a child not a woman so could not even be a target because of her age..