New friendships at secondary school

[paul2louise]

My son started secondary school in September. He has made new friends. He has told me he has been invited to a few upcoming birthday teas. He says he has been invited this Friday to friends house. I asked him to pass my number on to the parent. I haven't heard back from parent yet. I don't dis believe him but wonder what the protocol is with this age child and their friends. I also don't know if I am being over protective about him going to friends houses when I don't know them. I work part time in school and am conscious that if he brought a friend to our house that their parent was ok about it. Maybe it's safeguarding thing that I get from working at school.
I also need to know what to do about card, presents as I don't know the child or parent. Do I just get a card and put some money in it. I have been used to knowing his primary school friends and their parents for years. This is a new world now. Thanks.

I'd ask him for the Mum's number.

And yes a card would be be nice but I'd tend to put money in if I don't know the child.

Let him pick a card and put a fiver in it bit dont be suprised of he starts to not want to do this, my DS hasn't given any of his friends a card or present for years. Girls seem to continue with this but biys seem to give it up quite early.

As long as the house isn't too far away and he has his phone I wouldn't worry about getting the parents details after all if he was out with friends you wouldn't necessarily know where he was e ery second. Maybe just get him to ring when he gets there and ring when he is leaving or wants picking up.

At 11 I trust my ds to choose and form his own friendships without my input. He has taken to walking home with a couple of friends and often they drop in at the house of the one who's closest to the school. They have been to ours too and seem fine.

They have each others' numbers and organise their own meet-ups; their parents ring their kids' own phones if they need to tell them something or find out where they are rather than contacting friends' parents.

As for birthdays, I leave it to him to decide; he goes to the shop for a card and a token gift if he wants.

Thank you for all your replies. My son hasn't got a phone yet. He is getting one for his birthday in March. I suppose then I can start to let him make more of his own arrangements. We only live 5 mins from school and I am usually home when he finishes so he hasn't been used to being home alone much or going off to other friends houses yet. I will do the card and money as I think that the best thing at this stage.