Threatening suicide or self harm everytime dont get own way

[Muddlebubble]

Please someone help,

My daughter aged 12, i am absolutley drained i don't know what to do anymore.

Her behaviour lately is just disgusting, she is rude and she seams to think the world revolves around her. She is my 3rd child and my older 2 never were like this so im struggling.

Everytime we pull her up on her behaviour or warn her /take phone away etc we get written notes saying how her life is unfair she doesn't want to be here anymore and she would be better off dead.

Ive called the school and they are helping in counselling at school as she says she hates school.

The annoying thing is this all started when she found a new friend same age but diffrent school, this friend has free range, she smokes has older boyfriend and can come and go as she pleases, daughter says she is her best friend and only friend she has. Ive had enough, me and DH said from now on no hanging with this friend my daughters behaviour and attitude when she has been with her is 100% worse, we noticed when she hasn't seen her in a while she is back to her normal lovely self

Problem is she says if she can't see her she doesn't want to be here anymore

Im not gonna lie everytime i go into her room im scared she would of done something to her self

She has no past history of self harm or anything, what do i do? Follow through and hope her 'threats' are attention or something else?

Has she found that you tend to cave when she says something like this?

Could you change her school? If you can’t stop the friendship.
It sounds like a really serious chat is needed. Maybe school would facilitate/be involved.
Alternatively family therapy - But you would probably need to pay for this.

The reason she wants to change school is to go to the same school as this friend.

No i dont cave, but i sit and talk to her for hours, comfort her, then i cant sleep all night keep checking on her.
Im exhausted, it seams like every night there is something.

I honestly have never felt the need to ever scream and shout at any of my kids ever, but i feel like i could with her, trying to make her see sense

Just been out for a family roast and she was with this friend all morning, she sat like a toddler sliding down the seat, i told her everyone quietly to ignore her as she does these things for attention, she wasn't getting the reaction she wanted so she started playing again like a toddler with her food. Honestly feel like im going to explode