Anyones 12 year old a complete moody arse? Join me

[Christmaspenguins]

Anyone else's 12 year old a hormonal, angry, grumpy arse?
DS has spent the day with friends, and seemingly had a nice time. He came home at 5 and within 5 minutes was in a foul mood. All because I asked what he had eaten while out (as he said he was getting something while out) to which he replied he'd had a chocolate bar and a coke, and I asked if he wanted something else to eat because that's not enough to eat.

We were supposed to have a takeaway and a game night (me, DS, DP & DSS) and he's stomped off to his room declaring he's not having a takeaway, he hates his life and he never wants to play crappy games with us again.

He is So explosive and really struggles to regulate his emotions and often ends up spoiling days out/nights because of his attitude. I feel bad for DSS because when DS is in a mood it really deflates the atmosphere.

Solidarity anyone?

I'll join you. I spent the weekend trying to explain to dd2 that whatever school told her about a sporting event she is attending the email gave different information.

Instead of listening to my suggestion that we provisionally go by the email because she can just take the stuff then leave it in her locker til needed should the email be wrong , and that its better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it, she started screaming at me that its not until next month.

Seriously wtf is so difficult. Worse case scenario she has a sports kit in her locker for a couple of weeks.

FYI she usually has the memory of a gold fish gets confused and mis remembers
Alot I dont know why its ny felt if school sent out emails with wrong information.

Its been a bloody mission when it should be so simple. Take it and leave in locker

Shes very easily wound up sometimes

My 12yo DS has been replaced by a mono-syllabic shrug monster. I'm trying to organise him into an activity, any activity, that will get him out of the house and being a bit social. All my suggestions are met with a flat 'maybe'. When I ask him to elaborate on that he just repeats and stalks out of the room.
The utter glare of disgust he gives me really makes me want to cry. I have to toughen up, don't I?

Solidarity to you all.
Our DD has periods to contend with, was strong willed before age of 9 (when we noticed her go from happy to moody).

I put more effort in trying to stay calm and sometimes it's difficult.
She seems to be angry at her younger sibling, which I have to keep a close eye on.

We have lots of strops and petulant behaviours.

It can be hard. She can be so good sometimes. It's very up and down. Today she lost an expensive musical instrument at school. And breathe.

I'm in. My 12 year old DD seems miserable 99% of the time lately. She insists that she's FINE! but she never looks it, doesn't speak to anyone, doesn't join in with anything, doesn't want to.

@Christmaspenguins how old is DSS? I have a DSD, 10, and similarly feel sorry for her because of the atmosphere. I also have an older DS but he's just lovely and chilled lately.

I am trying to back off, I just worry that she's unhappy and if I knew why, I could fix it... naive, right?

My DS never stops moaning! There is simply no joy to be had in her healthy, comfortable and (reasonably) successful life. I hope she’s more cheerful with her friends.

I have found my people!! My dd really struggles with angry outbursts, it's doesn't take much and I'm the worlds worst mum. I fear it's going to get worse before it gets better🤦‍♀️

Ah yes, this was last week. This week he has been mature, thoughtful and delightful (apart from leaving his coat at home this morning- he's going on to XP's for the weekend. "Doesn't need it" apparently 🙄).Next week he will probably be antagonistic, foul mouthed, bully his brother, talk over me and refuse to do a fucking thing I ask him until I erupt again 🤦‍♀️.

I’m envious that you had till 12. My dd is like this at 10. Puberty is a bugger - it’s like Mogwai to Gremlin.

I'm in too. Painful.

Do yours all insist on living in the dark with the door shut?

Yes my 11 year old sometimes. Especially when he is hangry or tired. Or some friendship drama has happened.

I basically have vampires

Yes, it makes me sad to see DD looking so unhappy. Puberty has a lot of answer for. Why does it make them so unhappy?

I miss the toddler days where a pretty leaf would spark amazement and joy.

I feel your pain OP. DD12 is unbelievably moody and snappy

Yes they go through a stage where anything you say is wrong &look at you as sooo embarrassing with spectacular eye rolling. Best just to let it roll over your head & bite your tongue. Eventually they do become pleasant again.
Our DD13 deep in eye rolling stage with occasional glimmers of normality when she decides to do some baking with me, DS16 largely normal although still avoids us where possible for most of the time - except if footie is on when he happily sits on same sofa & chats to his dad! DS 19 has turned out be very pleasant young man as have all his friends. I found the 10-12 yr old stage to be worst for mood swings etc w8th them all.

Oh and yes they all are vampires!

Mines suddenly become obsessed with cooking and fire and today the hand blender. I swear she's trying to give me a heart attack. If I see her with the blow torch one more time..🙇‍♀️

Oh thank goodness I’ve found you. I told DP this morning that if he spoke to me the way 12yo DD does I’d be in an abusive relationship. She’s always been prone to moodiness and I can take the silent treatment but the talking to us and her sister like sh*t is wearing us (ok,me) down. I’m torn between not wanting to be completely authoritarian like my own DM was and also not wanting to be a total doormat. Tempted to just take her phone off her for the evening when it’s particularly bad and risk violating her human rights to try to get her to learn there are consequences. Aargh.

I'm always confiscating DS's phone in a temper! Usually when he point blank refuses to do some job I've asked him to do. He can have it back when he's done it (folds arms).

Thanks heavens for your 19yo. It gives me hope that DS will come out the other end a functional and kind adult. I forced him to come with me yesterday to pick up our takeaway which he had a massive strop about. But while we were waiting for the food we had a lovely chat about nothing important. I live for those moments!

@crackofdoom yeah I think that's the way I'm going to go. On the odd occasion I've done in the past we've ended up having those nice moments while she's away from the goddamn screen.

LOL yes DS has just turned 12 and it's like he's a teenager

Snap! Same in our house too my 12 old is very very moody!

My 12yo spends all available time in bed, pants and oodie on, curtains closed, door shut. He emerges for food, which (unless I intercept him) he takes back to his room and secrets in his nest.

He will also emerge happily for football practice/matches but usually returns in a foul mood and slanders his team mates, the opposition, his coach and the referee until we tell him to be quiet. He comes back from football utterly filthy but will quite happily hop straight back into bed unless I frog-march him to the shower.

On the other hand, he insists on having a shower before leaving the house for any reason. He comes out after an unreasonably long time and flings the wet towel onto his bedroom floordrobe (where it would stay forever if I left him to it) before prancing into my bedroom dressed only in pants to preen in the mirror. He has his own...

His room smells of damp dog (we don't have pets) so I air it when he's out. I stand in his room every evening and make put his collection of apple cores, orange peel, grape stalks and sweet wrappers in the bin and put his collection of dirty crockery in the dishwasher. I confiscate his devices overnight, which earns me a scowl.

He does his own washing, usually at 10pm (bedtime's at 9.30) when he realises he doesn't have any shirts/pants/PE kit for the next day. He then sets his alarm for 6am, waking everyone in the house, goes straight back to sleep and has to be bullied out of bed before his friends arrive to walk to school together.

He barely tolerates 10yo DD's existence but will be nice to her if strictly supervised. His conversations with me and DH are generally limited to money-making schemes, lectures on the evils of money (often in the same conversation), moaning about football/friends/sister/homework and asking for money/snacks/extra time on his Switch.

OTOH, he's doing well at school, unloads the dishwasher every day with minimal fuss, tells me he loves me when he says goodnight and sometimes lets me give him a cuddle. I love him to bits and hold out hope that he'll grow out of this stage and morph into a decent human being.

I'm dreading this, I have no idea what it's like to go through this so can't even empathise, I'm reading just to try and learn before it all (inevitably?) happens 😭