What age is a good age to let DD hair remove?

[Cece92]

Hi all :) my DD9 has asked a few times to shave her legs. I've tried putting it off aslong as possible but she's very insecure about her leg and arm hair. DD is a mirror copy of me. We both have olive skin and very very black hair (naturally) I was young when I shaved as I felt the same as DD but I went behind my mums back stole a razor and had several big cuts and done it dry 🙈😂 I am not against hair removing but I'd rather avoid shaving so young. Is there any other alternatives except hair removal that anyone could suggest? Not sure if it matters but DD is actually mixed race too her hair is slightly thicker than what mines was at that age. Tia :)

Mine asked at 10, close to her birthday, so at 12 she got a Phillips electric shaver. She's much more content now.

I got my legs waxed from 12. Give her a couple paracetamol and do that. Might be easier to get someone to come to the house.

Do these actually work? Do you literally just rub it over your skin?

Or maybe 1 paracetamol!

It bothers me because a boy wouldn’t shave his legs. So why are we normalising hair removal. I know my DDs will eventually but I think what are girls seeing that they are worried about hair on their bodies?

I have friends who for religious reasons remove no body hair the same for their husbands.

I've taken ds1 to have his eyebrows done since he was 10. My children are mixed race, very dark hair and comparatively fair skin.

I'll admit I wasn't sure at first, but DH and his family said it was pretty common in his home country and would just be done at the hairdresser. It's his body, and he understood what he wanted.

If you are going to teach her to use a razor, I'd do it now, whilst the legs are covered! Not in the summer when potential cuts, chafing, missed spots etc would be more visible. She needs to practice this herself.

@FawnFrenchieMum yes, I've got one too although I do shave more often than use it as it's time consuming and makes my legs quite dry.

DD has more spare time than me and seems to get on quite well with it.

You let her now given that she is uncomfortable. Surely this is obvious?

If she's voicing that its making her self conscious then nows right for her. It's her body, her choice. The fact she feels comfortable telling you and articulating why speaks to you being a great mum first of all, and that she has that level of maturity to choose for herself.

My 11 year old asked me in the summer, I was taken by surprise (though when I think about it its quite a common age to start), she asked right before going on so wanted it dealt with straight away, didn't want to shave as it can make the hairs so spiky and uncomfortable but I had some veet strips leftover from whenever I last used them, years ago, and used those but she hasn't asked since. So I think I dealt with it ok, no fuss, no making a big deal of it, she tried it out and decided it wasn't for her yet. If she wanted to wax again I would buy some more.

I remember being scared of asking my mum about shaving my legs because I felt she'd judge me. Never want my daughter to fear that even though I'd rather she didn't want to remove hair.

Boys not shaving their legs have nothing to do with the OP's daughter.

Your religious friends have nothing to do with the OP's daughter.

Your feelings on hair removal should have nothing to do with your own daughters either, if/when they ask your permission to remove it from their own bodies.

What a random thing to say. If I was of the same religion as my friends then my DDs would be too. I don’t see why we’re bringing up DDs to see their body hair as an issue?

Have a read @DuplicateUserName

Body hair

what are we perpetuating? And why?

DD was 11 when we used hair removal cream, ready for her Yr6 Leavers Party. By the following year she was regularly shaving legs and armpits.

Hairy teenagers are fine if it is their choice to be hairy!

We're not bringing them up to see their body hair as an issue.

If they see it as an issue then it's their body and their choice, if they choose to remove it.

You (or any parent) forcing your own religion on your children, should never remove their autonomy over their own bodies.

Veet? I can't stand the smell but it's probably the "safest" - or just go for waxing straight away?

My mum was like this. She has very fair barely noticeable body hair. I am mixed race and have extremely dark body hair. My mum didn't shave/epilate etc herself and refused to let us do anything either. We were rural so couldn't easily pop to the shops to buy anything ourselves.

I skipped/lied and 'got ill' for quite a few PE lesson for three years as a result. I would do winter PE because they let us wear tracksuit bottoms, but not gymnastics (which I loved and was excellent at) or summer PE.

I still struggle to wear shorts or short skirts in summer because it knocked my confidence in my appearance and although I'm not consiously bothered any more, unconsciously I dont reach for the shorter skirts or shorts in summer.

And yes, maybe I should have been more determined to be the girls with the hairy legs and not let anyone bully me to be different. But I didn't want to be, I wanted to fit in. There is so much going on in teenagers lives why make it harder for them. They can always choose to grow their body hair later if their change their mind. Add in the struggles of being mixed race in a mainly white environment and already being made to feel 'other'.

We're perpetuating nothing.

We are (or should be) supporting our children to make decisions about their own bodies.

You remind me a bit of how my own mum was (hence me having to butcher my own legs with my dad's non safety razor), because she made it all about her and how we as a society should feel.

Meanwhile I was desperately unhappy with the thick, dark hair on my own legs so had to sort it myself as a very unhappy 9 year old.

But you crack on, thinking you have the right to do that to your kids.

So your argument for not letting girls shave their body hair is to link to an article complaining that girls don't have a choice about it?

I'm not sure removing their choice by telling them they can't is any better than their choice being removed because they have to.

And also @ItsACrater , what a child decides to do with their own leg hair when they're young, isn't necessarily the same thing they're going to choose to do when they're older.

They may well choose to keep it as they grow into adulthood, or they may not but it's really no-one else's business.

But your case point is they’re a child!! So is it their choice?

Whenever she asks to.

No don’t let her shave. Get her sugared/waxed professionally. The hairs grow back weaker each time ( takes a while! I’ve been sugared for 20 years and have no underarm hair now) waxing is itchy and stubbly grow back

Yes absolutely.

When the child feels self-conscious, when the child no longer wants to do PE, when the child no longer wants to wear shorts or skirts.

It's very much time to realise that it's the child's body and therefore the child's choice.

Or of course alienate the child and ignore their unhappiness just so you can make some sort of point.