12 year old daughter constantly lying

[raven99]

I really at a loss and need to reach out to you guys.
My eldest daughter (12) has become a compulsive liar and I don't know how to stop this. I thought she was lying because she was worried about getting into trouble. I am questioning myself if she is frightened of my reaction so lies to try to avoid the reaction. But she also lies about the complete inconsequential such as lying about brushing her teeth!
I have explained how lying breaks down trust in a relationship which is a fundamental part of any relationship. I said I will struggle to believe her side of the story if she has any issues with friends or at school if she isn't honest with me and hence may not have my full support as an example of effect of lying. She just says she does not know why she lies.
I feel she is really closed off from me and doesn't let me into her thoughts and feelings. She shuts me out and this breaks my heart as I desperately want to have a close relationship with my daughter whereby she can tell me anything. I have asked her numerous times to let me in, to share her worries/feelings, to just talk but she doesn't. I have suggested keeping a diary but she won't. I also suggest speaking to the student listeners who are year 11 girls just to talk to someone about her feelings but again she won't as she says she doesn't like talking about her feelings.

So, the help I need is:

1. How do I get her to stop lying
2. How do I get her to talk to me more about the things going on in her head and heart
3. How do I strength our relationship as I think it's quite fragile at the moment.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I can't stop her lying but I can make a couple of suggestions. One is to ask @MNHQ to move this over to the Preteens Section where, hopefully, you'll get a few more responses.

And secondly, have a look at the book Untangled.

PritiPatelsMaker - thank you. I have messaged MN and I will definitely look at the book. Much appreciated.

It's so hard isn't it, but I do think some lying is a developmental thing with teens. I'm reading "Get out of my life...but first take me and Alex to town" at the moment and theres a section on lying. They suggest that lying is unavoidable with teens and to some extent you can't control it, they just can't help themselves.