Have a look at the Young Minds website. Lots of information and support for parents (and children) there.
www.youngminds.org.uk/young-person/my-feelings/self-harm/

For parents:
www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/parents-a-z-mental-health-guide/self-harm/

Thank you 😊

Op is there any chance that she is neurodivergent? One of my dc used to self harm but in a different way and it was all about relieving tensions, just a way of self regulating- although very distressing for me.

It is hard because in my case the GP wouldn’t do anything and the school counsellor was too busy - but I do think it’s a postcode lottery so you might be lucky in getting support. It is worth talking to school and your Gp. We haven’t really addressed the self harming but the underlying anxiety (in our case a private psychologist has helped although at £110 for 55 minutes it isn’t cheap) that has caused it and to some extent the self harming has stopped and we are finding different ways for her to self regulate.

I would look at her life and try to understand what pressures she is under, really listen to her. If she says something is upsetting her don’t minimise it, just repeat back what she’s said and keep listening until you understand and can come up with strategies together to help reduce her worries. it might be that she ‘just’ needs to feel loved or you might need to make a change in her life or teach her to cope with something. For my child I wouldn’t mention the self harm now because on the odd occasion I did she would get more distressed and say she was a ‘bad child’ for doing it. So in my case I have definitely tried to build up her esteem.

I’ll give you my experience which may or may not help.

My dds both have autism, one very obviously so, and the other had always been shy / quirky but I assumed she’d get more confident as she grew older. Anyway she was assessed with autism / adhd when she was 14 and now elements of her slightly unusual behaviour make sense. I’m on a few Facebook groups and it is very common for asd girls to feel more pressure at year 5 or 6. Actually it’s common for all girls to feel pressure at that age - the beginnings of puberty, friendship issues, extra responsibilities at school, stresses of SATS, moving to a new school. I personally would mention it to school in case there’s a bullying or friendship issue. And I don’t know if you’re friends with any of her friends parents but I have often found one of my children won’t tell me a problem but their friend might’ve mentioned something to their mum.

With the GP I have had to go to their website to log that my child is refusing school / self harming and never met a Gp! You might be able to arrange a phonecall to discuss and even say that she won’t go to the GP. There might be some local support. I don’t know if you can afford a counsellor or psychologist. I see a psychologist on my own and she gives me strategies to deal with dds that seem to be gradually working.

A big thing we’re working on is learning how to solve problems together and my dc learning how to identify their feelings and then how to self regulate in a non harmful way.