DS (12) has been spoiling for a fight with us after school about absolutely nothing. Like being asked to put his bike away. That escalated to throwing shoes at the wall, knocking over kitchen chairs, shouting at us, door slamming and denying he has done anything wrong. So he lost all device time including phone use, missed his football training and other privileges, all starting from not putting bike away. However, it turns out he is unhappy at school. It really sounds like mild teasing rather than bullying (children calling him by his full name not the shortened version, him insisting on the short version, but they have realised it winds him up so they now only call him long version…), however he is really upset for some reason.
How can we help him calm down and not escalate minor situations to the extent we then need to deal with aggressive behaviours? We can’t let him just leave his clothes all over the floor or leave his bike unlocked because he doesn’t want to do these minor tasks and is in a bad mood. Equally I do not want to be dealing with violent tantrums in the house! He refuses the idea of counselling, but I think he could do with some anger management techniques. Any thoughts?