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Preteens

How do you stay calm?

3 replies

Bullship · 16/10/2022 09:51

DD is very nearly 11.

She’s generally a good kid but the attitude and defiance is sneaking in and I’m finding myself getting super wound up.

My own DM was very shouty (and probably narc) and I was so determined to not repeat the same, but my god DD is pushing my buttons.

We’ve tried being jokey, tried ignoring it, but there are times she goes a tad too far and quite frankly it’s just not acceptable. It’s little flashes of spite with her younger sibling, refusing to do things, battling with over everything (we say black, she says white kind of stuff), very small lies when she’s being too lazy to do something (ie says she’s cleaned her teeth when she hasn’t).

I know it’s kind of normal to push against us, I get that it will happen, I guess I thought it wouldn’t feel so confrontational 😥

Any tips for staying calm? I’ve totally seen red over something this morning and I can’t bear the thought of battling with her for the next 10 years….

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ChocolateRaisin09 · 22/12/2022 13:43

I'm with you OP, my DD is mostly a really good kid, maybe that's why I find it so irritating when she's rude for no real reason, although I get that the reason is completely normal adolescence. I also don't want to be like my mum who was quite loony and chucked me and my sisters out at various points 😬 I'm trying to read up more about teens and have more sympathy for what she's going through, and I've ordered that book "Get Out of my Life..."

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MusselMam · 03/01/2023 10:33

@ChocolateRaisin09 am struggling myself with a 12 year old. Lose it regularly. Was that book any use?

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PritiPatelsMaker · 07/01/2023 08:00

Untangled is good @Bullship Flowers

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