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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Where's the balance?

1 reply

cavia · 21/09/2022 10:33

DD11 is no doubt starting to get a bit hormonal and has recently started secondary school so I've been trying to find the balance between letting a bit of snarkiness go and not letting her think that she can speak to us the way she has been.

I will admit that I have been a little snappy with her recently too. Toddler who still doesn't sleep, puppy, new job working full time etc means I am tired and tense and probably expecting a bit too much of her.

She doesn't know, and I'm not sure if I should tell her or not, that I can see all her Google searches on my Google. I don't want to invade her privacy but it's good to know what she's thinking when she goes quiet on me.

I was a bit gutted to see that over the weekend just after I'd pulled her up on the way she'd been speaking to us and her hideous mess of a room (that I spent hours tidying over the summer) that she'd been searching "why does my mum hate me?"

I've lost a bit of confidence in how to parent her since then. Obviously I don't hate her, I love the bones off her, and I tell her this regularly! But sometimes I do need to bring her back into line. Just wondered if anyone had found the balance 😕

OP posts:
crispsandnuts · 21/09/2022 21:56

Really tricky age, I'm right with you, it's tough. Lots of defiant behaviour of simple things like brushing teeth etc, moody and lazy. Think we still have a way to go.
I think it's natural to question your parenting skills, however they can push you to the limit and we often react not in an ideal way.

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