Y7 son hating move to secondary

[TheSunnySide]

My Y7 son is struggling with the noise, the shouty teachers and the constant movement in secondary school. It is such early days (day 5) and he has already spent a fair amount of time in well-being but can't seem to explain how he feels when they ask. He tells me when he gets home but then gets agitated when I try to offer support/solutions etc

He hates the early starts, getting lost and the test/assessments. I have tried to reassure him that these things will all become less difficult as time goes on but that isn't helping him in the moment. It doesn't help that I drive his friend to school every morning and he won't shut up about sets/tests and how much he is absolutely loving everything.

On the way to school my son clams up as he doesn't want to talk in front of his friend, so I just see him become more and more upset as we get nearer to school. On the flip side he comes out of school absolutely fine, chatty and excited. He loves the social side of school. However, each night he goes through all the negative stuff again. It's frankly doing my head in and starting to make me feel really annoyed and anxious.

I have tried all kinds of things including 'pull yourself together' type of talks but it is just never ending. What can I do to help him deal with these issues!?

I think time is the only thing that'll help. The school know he's struggling if he's going to the whatsit where they can get some time out.
Maybe buy a book about growing up/ anxiety/ teen problems etc and just leave it in his room?
Just let him know you're there, but also try not to focus too much on the negative stuff.
Distraction too, get him out exercising

My youngest son never took to Secondary school, l forced him in everyday no matter what thinking that was the best way and it resulted in him having a complete breakdown and being diagnosed with an anxiety and panic disorder two years down the line.
Some young students suffer panic attacks at school but are not aware of what they are. Is his heart beating fast, shallow breathing, feeling dizzy and like something really awful is going to happen? The symptons are scary and worse still if you are in a classroom with zero privacy or hard to escape.
There is a good book on anxiety and panic called Dare on Amazon, l have suffered both myself when younger and this is the best book in my opinion, suitable for his age.

You are awesome book & time. If he's coming out happy that's ok - worse to go in happy and something make you miserable.
Plus compliment him on whatever he's achieved that day. He seem's to be beating himself up. Take the lead on the car conversation on the way in & choose a topic your son enjoys, sport, star wars, Karate kid whatever. Or drown out his friend with extra loud music!

Thank you. I managed to get him laughing on the way to school today but he still ended up very sad and anxious. They have a strategy in place now so I am hoping he will be OK.

I am trying to get him to tell
me how he feels earlier in the evening as otherwise he talks about it just before bed and I find it really stressful

It is really early days (a bit like when some of the children cling to your legs in reception) and with familiarity and friends it will get better. Maybe talk to him about nerves when you started a job etc and that it's normal to not feel at ease immediately in a new setting.

Glad school are helping, they are used to this, he won't be alone or the first or last to feel overwhelmed.

It may be stressful to hear but its a sign you have a great relationship if he is willing to talk to you and a problem shared is a problem halved.

Thank you again. Funnily enough I started working in a new school the same week he went up so I have lots of recent experience to share.

he has always been very willing to talk to me, I just wish I could be more helpful to him.