DS's mate leaving the loo in a state - WWYD

[TheOrigRights]

DS's 12 yo friend is over. Lovely, polite lad, but has clearly not been taught how to leave a toilet.
DS tells me he has his own bathroom at home, so I guess no one else has to use it.
We have one bathroom. I went to use the loo it's been left dirty and in a state no one should use before it's cleaned.

WWYD? If he's never been told how to clean a loo then me saying "ohh, can you just check the loo please, there's a loo brush, bleach and a cloth up there" will really embarrass him, and DS, and I really don't want to do that. It's a tricky summer holiday as it is and I don't want friendships to be tested.

I don’t think I’d do anything if it’s a tricky summer friendship wise. Just clean it myself while hating every second. It’s not worth embarrassing his friend and alienating your son over.

Agree with PP. If it were me I would also keep quiet and clean it whilst hating every second.

One of my sons friends has appalling manners and throws food around while at the dinner table. You do wonder what on earth they are like at home if they behave like this in someone else's house!

I should add that my son and his friend are 10, not 2! 🤣

It depends what it is. If it’s skid marks in the loo, I’d ignore it. If it’s anything people might stand or sit in then I’d do a generalised shout out - ‘oi I just had to wipe the seat, can you lot do it next time if you miss?’

Just clean it. There is no way of saying anything that will not be embarrassing.

That's difficult as it's not this child's fault if he's never been taught what to do.

As pps have said, I would clean it myself. Surely he's not going to need a number 2 every time he comes round? And if it is in that state, then still, I would do it myself rather than risk embarrassing him.

Surely there will come a point when your DS uses the toilet after friend and says 'ugh, you've left poo all over the toilet'. I am sure a 12 year old boy would likely blurt something like this out.

If he was 15/16 then I'd probably try and make a jokey comment about the state of the loo but at 12 and that awkward age I think it would go down like a lead balloon and your son would not see his friend coming over for dust.

Therefore I'd just clean it.

Oh ignore me, I thought you were on holiday with him.
Id not say anything.

Agree not to say anything at that age.

Skid marks in the loo I probably wouldn't mention. Peeing on seat/floor I would, and have several times, had words and asked the repeat offender to clean up.

Ask his parents to teach him about cleaning the toilet when not at home.

That would be even worse than talking to the boy myself!

Thanks all.
It was skids and then I sat in wee.

I'm glad most agree just to let it go for the sake of the boys.
If it does happen too often I will find a way to raise it.

Ds' pals are here often and make themselves at home which I don't mind

They sit in the back room and chat, play eat etc. They're all 10 and 11

There's a toilet next to where they all sit - if I go in and one of them has left a mess I have no qualms about saying "whoever used the toilet last please go and sort it by wiping the seat / flushing / picking up the loo roll that's bounced across the room. Make sure you wash your hands after'

I wouldn't for skid marks - I'd just bleach and flush

I would if one of them had shat on the seat

If they're comfy enough to chill in my house then I'm comfy enough to let them know they need to follow basic house rules.

Ds' main offending pal is here now - been here 20 minutes and he's already pee'd on the seat!

He's in there now wiping it up in response to my "who missed the bowl again?"

He's 10 - should know better!

Just sent him back in to wash his hands too. I can't believe the number of people who would clean it themselves instead!

tbh, I'm also surprised that most would clean it up, too. I was expecting collective outrage that I wasn't pulling the offender up!

I think most people can see that it would cause huge embarrassment to teenagers (mine is 13 and his friend is 12) and risk friendships.

The age is key I think. 10 and 11 yos are still kids and being told what to do, or being organised by parents doesn't induce eye rolling scorn. Sure, I go into his room and tell them to bring their plates down or take the football into the garden rather than the lounge. It just feels very difficult to approach hygiene issues.

If my adult son and his mates did the same I'd absolutely read them the riot act.