DD11 turned vile!

[breathcalmly]

Nice girl usually, quite bright, but has turned into an evil witch over the last few weeks. We are on holiday atm and she has called her younger sister a peadophile (she is 8!!) and me an abuser (I’m not!) and threatened to slap me! I feel like crying. She has lost her phone and not allowed out tonight but can’t stand this and feel sad that she’s ruining a very rare holiday for us.

Puberty is an awful thing. They do come
through this crap.

Can you leave her dad with her and go out for a bit yourself?

My DD is 10.5 and like 2 different people at times. I think it’s the hormones but doesn’t make it any easier, you have my sympathy.

The talk of abuse could just be vitriol but I’d perhaps have a quiet word with her when she’s calmed down and make sure there isn’t anything underlying.

thanks, I have done just that, and taken the other DCs out as just needed some space from her. Feel quite tearful. She doesn’t even know what a peadophile actually is. She started high school this year and has been picking up lots of bad language too.

Thank you, yes it’s like Jekkl and Hyde. I have 2 other DDs younger than her and can’t bare that they might turn out like this too. We are in a cabin overseas and really can’t have our neighbours hear what she is calling us as we are both in professional jobs (DH a teacher). Will try to explain that in the morning when all calm (hopefully)

Ds3 was always my 'easiest' but has recently been such hard work (he has just finished year 7 too). Puberty has a lot to answer for and I think going to secondary school is a big step for some.

Luckily I have 2 older teens and whilst they were both hard work in completely different ways I can see the light at the end of the tunnel,

Someone once told be that toddlers are like puppies and need lots of fresh air, exercise and clear boundaries. Teenagers are like cats - make sure they have a comfortable bed, plenty of food available and wait for them to come to you!

It is so hard but try and be clear in your expectations, stay calm and it will all come good in the end!

I'm going to follow this thread with interest as I'm really struggling with ds who turned 11 last Friday. We too are on holiday and he has been a moody, miserable pita for the majority - even complained his way around disney land.

Thank you, love the cat analogy, will save that in my notes! I have an older DS (14) and he was challenging in his own way but she is something else! She is an end of August baby and mixing with girls who are nearly 12 months older than her, and whilst she is bright she is very immature in many ways.

I do sympathise, it’s rotten having them spoil our hols after the covid years of not being able to. I’m going for a long walk in the morning to have some mental space from her and hopefully will feel calmer afterwards. Good luck.

It's so hard, one minute kind, lovely and funny then the next minute the head is spinning and the attitude comes in, it's embarrassing if others are there. I know it'll come good in the end, however 2-3 years if this (plus menopause) will finish me off!

I went to see the GP and she was saying how it can be a difficult time for women - their children are teenagers, they are going through the menopause, their parents are getting old and their partners maybe having a midlife crisis! It really did not cheer me up!

Oh yes that so true, yes to elderly parents too. I guess a lot of people having children mid thirties like me have to battle puberty and menopause, it's a whirlwind of hormones and loosing the will to live.