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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Original poster

Is your 10YO moody?

16 replies

LadyLothbrook · 24/07/2022 17:24

Just waved off DD10 for a couple of days at her Grandads and she was being very distant and a little cold towards me. I did check her bags to make sure that she had packed everything (toothbrush etc) and that made her abit moody I think but other than that I can't think what I've done to upset her. She wouldn't even look at me when I was waving her off in the car. I suppose what I'm asking is I didn't think I'd be experiencing this until she was like 12/13 does this appear a normal age for girls to pull away abit nowadays? She seems very hormonal. I suffer with PMDD but try to control my symptoms around my children, I would just hate to think my hormonal hassle is rubbing off on her.

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FernsAndFlowers · 24/07/2022 17:28

Yes I get this with 9yo DD. Unfortunately she started puberty v v early (we are having to manage it medically) but still get hormonal rages and a horribly entitled attitude at times

Original poster
LadyLothbrook · 24/07/2022 17:32

That's interesting Ferns, I wonder if DD is due to start her period. She's been developing breasts since around 8, pubic hair and BO also. It just seems awfully young but I guess I'm comparing to when I started my periods, 14 iirc? I wonder if it's anything to go by my having PMDD, I can't actually remember 10yo me in terms of personality that age though.

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FernsAndFlowers · 24/07/2022 17:40

I think girls generally start puberty earlier now than previous generations - it’s really hard when on the one hand they’re playing with dolls and then on the other sprouting hair and smelling awful.

It sounds like your DD is well underway with puberty. We’re trying to hold off a bit here because she has a genetic condition which makes it a bit complicated. I went through a fairly early and rapid menopause and so at least I’m done and dusted with it myself!

Timeforabiscuit · 24/07/2022 17:44

Absolutely- at ten both my daughters were very teary and unsettled emotions wise, and definitely hormonal!

Over a couple of years, its now settled into a cycle rather than completely unpredictable moodiness, to the point now that if they do a comment that takes my breath away in rudeness I know in three days time she will be perfectly pleasant again - bang on first day of period.

Original poster
LadyLothbrook · 24/07/2022 17:56

Ah, I feel better already. I've felt so down about it. I try to watch things together to encourage bonding and we have our 'mornings' where we get up earlier than dh and dd2, we have a cup of tea and watch a show together. She's very resistant about academia at the minute. She used to love reading and now she gags at the thought. I told her if she doesn't read for 15 minutes a night at her Grandads I will lock her phone and she gave me the muckiest look! Now I'm not sure if iabu asking her for this. I told her 15 minutes is not much effort at all and that she still has so much vocabulary to learn and explore but she thinks I'm being 'nasty'. It all seems to be coming out of nowhere.

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Original poster
LadyLothbrook · 24/07/2022 17:58

For asking her this* that was meant to say. Bloody PMDD brain fog turns my head to mush.

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liveforsummer · 24/07/2022 18:02

I'd lay off the reading and vocabulary lecture. It's the holidays and forcing it is the best way to put her off. At 10 it won't hurt her to have a break. She's probably tired after a long school year following all the disruption

PestoPasghetti · 24/07/2022 18:09

Aww, I'm not surprised she's pissed off at being forced to read before she can relax. That sounds like a good way to put her off reading! I wouldn't use lack of a phone as punishment for not reading enough, but limit her phone use generally so she'll want to entertain herself in other ways, ie reading, which she'll then find enjoyable.

Look at Tom Sawyer: 'Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do, play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.' Don't turn reading into a chore. If you want her exposed to more literature, maybe play audiobooks in the car?

gingeristhenewblack43 · 24/07/2022 18:10

10 yo DD and moody is an understatement! She broke up for the Summer hols on Weds afternoon and has been the most difficult, obnoxious, argumentative little madam.

She's bored, everything I suggest is boring, but she doesn't know what she wants to do. Frequent stomping up the stairs and slamming of doors. She's had friends over, I've taken her and a friend on activities but she's still not happy.

I've booked a lot of time off work so she doesn't have to go to holiday club, which she dislikes. No one else does my work if I'm not in so I have to do my usual work on less hours which is incredibly stressful.

I have told her today that if her behaviour doesn't change I will be booking her into holiday club. She's obviously not happy at home so she might as well be not happy at holiday club. I could cancel my leave and be less stressed!

6.5 weeks to go as she has 7 weeks off with the teachers having their jubilee bank holiday on the Thursday then tacking on 2 days teacher training in Sept.

Original poster
LadyLothbrook · 24/07/2022 18:35

This is great advice guys thank you. I did think I could be being abit pushy with that but parenting is such a minefield. One minute you think you're not taking an active enough approach to their education and the other you just want to let them enjoy themselves. I'll apologise to her later and try to approach the reading at a different time in a different way. She just got to the coast and text me so thats a good sign I suppose. Gosh it's hard isn't it.

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Original poster
LadyLothbrook · 24/07/2022 18:36

@ginggingeristhenewblack43 you have my sympathies dear. God knows how I'll get through this 6 weeks with preteen hormones and my own evil hormones. It's all fun and games this parenting lark.

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Original poster
LadyLothbrook · 24/07/2022 18:39

Also, I had no guidance whatsoever in my school years. I had a very dysfunctional upbringing and had to explore education myself as an adult. I guess I worry that she will find herself abit lost in it all like I did. But I do agree forcing her isn't the best way to keep her interested in learning.

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Whatwouldscullydo · 25/07/2022 11:10

Ha ha ill join the moody club. Dd11 Has been like jekyll and Hyde fir a while now. Its all very well putting it down to hormones/school etc or whatever but it costs alot in wine and gin waiting fir them to come out the other side.

💐 for you op

PestoPasghetti · 25/07/2022 19:08

Another tip re reading, go to the library regularly. You can both sit and read whatever you like then!

WLAH · 25/07/2022 19:12

Moody 10.5 year old here too

dameofdilemma · 01/08/2022 16:13

Yup moody here too. Even when doing activities she's asked to do with her friends. And we both work so the juggle in school hols is stressful enough without the rude retorts, sulking and grumps.

We've tried to deal with it by changing it up a bit - (very) few days of holiday club, family hols, rest days at home doing nothing while we work, taking it in turns to do days out etc.

Dd started her periods earlier this year and has had a personality transformation. Physically she's 10 but mentally she's like a too cool for school 14 year old.

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