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Preteens

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Does anyone else have a child that hates performing?

4 replies

Ganymedemoon · 13/07/2022 13:34

To me it's perfectly natural to hate standing up on stage and singing or dancing etc but that's because I am not particularly talented at either of those things! But I am starting to feel like it's an expectation that some have that children will perform and that with my daughter it's a sign of a lack of confidence or anxiety.

My DD is 10, she is in the school choir and as much as she says she likes it, when performing she is just totally rigid and really looks like she is hating every moment of it. Others have commented about this, some kindly, others not so kind! She's very outgoing with other children, has a lot of friends, makes friends very easily and is well liked. She is at the start of puberty so I have certainly seen her becoming more self conscious over the last 6/12 months, to me that's totally normal.

The performance side if things I think it's others comments that have made me question myself. I have no problem if she doesn't like performing, I just don't think singing dancing or acting are her strengths. But school and other parents seem to put so much emphasis on it. She's naturally a more sporty child and has no trouble doing sports in front of others.

I guess what I am asking is if others have kids who are similar did it concern you or not? Did you feel a need to do anything about it or just accept that your child is not into performing arts?

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 13/07/2022 13:50

Why this would concern anyone is beyond me, as is what anyone thinks they could do about it. Your child is their own person, and they don't like performing. No big deal.

Ganymedemoon · 13/07/2022 14:03

Aquamarine1029 · 13/07/2022 13:50

Why this would concern anyone is beyond me, as is what anyone thinks they could do about it. Your child is their own person, and they don't like performing. No big deal.

Well I totally agree! But seeds of doubt have crept into my head with some of the comments I have received. I don't know why? But why do schools make such a big deal of performing if it only suits certain kids and doesn't benefit others? Maybe it's just my DDs school? I don't recall lots of performing as a child myself.

OP posts:
Chris893 · 22/07/2022 09:52

Perhaps it is the teacher or choirmaster she hates. Some are terrible bullies and fail to get pupils to relax, which, I would suggest (not being very musical myself) is essential for singing.

TeenDivided · 07/08/2022 12:55

I don't think performing is important.

However having confidence to ask questions in class, or do a mini-presentation to the class is important.

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