Friendship101 · 13/06/2022 11:18
DS is 10 (year 5) and since nursery he has had the same best friend. For the past 6 years whenever I asked who he’d played with it was always only best friend. He does have other friends and I see him playing with them at clubs, in the playground and he does get invited to a few of their birthday parties etc. One of the other friends he spends time with out of school however I have become friends with his Mum so I’m unsure if this is why he gets invited.
Year 5 has been difficult friendship wise for DS, he and best friend are no longer best friends. They still get on ok most of the time but DS is very black & white about a lot of thing, he knows his mind which I love but can be difficult to compromise on some things. He’s very well behaved at school, always the “class role model” on reports etc and this last year he’s started becoming frustrated at a group of boys who are very disruptive in class. Best friend is one of these and I’m sure this has affected the friendship as DS tells him he’s being disruptive. It doesn’t seem like they’ll go back to being best frienda, it’s been 6 months now and they seem to have little in common now and barely speak out of football at school.
DS has other friends as I said and does play out with some but he has started to become upset that he isn’t invited to as many friends houses as his friends are. We’ve tried inviting some here but they already have plans with others or sleepovers and I’m just feeling sad for him.
I know DS can be bossy at times, he’s very mature in his interests too and likes coding which only one of his friends likes. He’s into football though. Any advice on what I can do to help him? When they go to high school the class will be split up between 2 high schools due to catchment and best friend won’t be at his so I’m hoping to help him secure new friends as well as maintain that friendship.
sorryiasked · 13/06/2022 12:00
DS was the same, but going to secondary was the making of him and he's now got a good group of friends and a "bestie".
I would recommend Cubs/scouts as a good way of mixing with new people and doing different things.
Friendship101 · 13/06/2022 12:28
Thanks, I feel he’s ready for high school in so many ways and hope that it will really help him find his group. But then another year of where we’re at seems tough for him.
He did Beaver and Cubs but has recently stopped as it wasn’t well organised and he wanted to do football. He does play guitar, goes to a music group and plays football though. All with different children to his classmates.
I could look into other Scout groups for him though as he’s now old enough for Scouts.
springhassprung22 · 14/06/2022 21:30
Bless him. I worry about this with my DS as he is very focussed on just a couple of friends at school. I am trying to encourage his interests outside of school which it sounds like you already do.
Is he unhappy day to day at school? Hopefully not.
Have you ever wondered if your DS might be on the spectrum? I only ask because of a couple of points in your description but apologies if I’m completely off base!
Friendship101 · 15/06/2022 06:59
He’s happy enough in class but comes home with complaints most days, mainly about some classmates behaviour towards him. He’s not being bullied or singled out but there are some very boisterous boys in his class and he often doesn’t like their behaviour.
Ive wondered a few times about ASD over the years but if he is then he’s high functioning so I’ve never pursued it or mentioned it to school. They’ve never mentioned it to me either.
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