Giving my pre-teen DD (11) some quality time this weekend

[fijicava]

We have a large family and my middle DD often refers herself as 'the forgotten child'. She has just started high school and despite having always been very capable at school and settling in well to a new school, has started fibbing (not telling us where she is with her friends, chucking away her packed lunch and buying sweets etc and such like) and pushing boundaries. Anyway, she is the only child at home this weekend and need to think of ways to bond with her so she can open up to me what's going on. Any ideas? To complicate matters, I'm isolating so we can't be near other people...

Card games
Redecorate a room
Make a meal she chooses or would like to know how to cook
Paint a canvas

Bit short of money at the moment otherwise the decorating would be a fab idea, but like the choose a meal option, thanks!

What about letting her choose? She can decide as long as not dangerous or bankrupting. I think it's nice for kids to have some agency.

I think she'd just choose her phone/seeing her friends if I have her a choice! But good idea, will give it a go. She loves cooking

Face masks and movie night

That's quality time for her, so let her have it. Forcing your idea of quality time on her isn't going to work.

Sounds like some good suggestions already on this thread. If you're hoping she'll open up a bit about what's going on in her life, I've always found that reminiscing about my own childhood, school, fallouts with friends, etc can be a great way into those topics without forcing anything out of them that they don't want to tell you. Helps kids to realise that you were a child once and might actually understand their world.

DSS and I used to play a game when his dad was working nights where we each wrote down 10 questions on little pieces of paper and put them into a jar. Then we'd cook his favourite meal and pull questions out to ask one another – we both gave our answers to all the questions.

Some nights it was silly and light, other nights things emerged that went a bit deeper. It might be a nice way to help her feel you're really interested in who she is.