9yo doesn't want to grow up

[NobbyButtons]

My 9yo DD (Year 4) has often been saying recently that she doesn't want to grow up. She gets quite upset about it, particularly the thought of not living with me.

I have told her that she has plenty of time left being a child, reassured her that I'll always be her mum and be there for her love her, and that she can still live with me when she's older if she wants to. I've also talked about the positive side of growing up, for example having to be bossed around by your parents all the time!

How can I best reassure her and support her?

^ not having to be bossed around by your parents all the time!

Tell her she can live with you forever and she never has to leave.

Also reassure her that it's ok that she worried about it all, but now she's told you she doesn't need to be concerned anymore.

I had one of those, would get all emotional and distressed at the thought that we wouldn't be together for ever. I did the same talks and reassurances as you and as it went on with no resolution we made a date with this particular worry, once a week for five minutes she was allowed to get this worry out, weep and wail and anguish and then after five minutes she had to put it away until next week. I think she had become a bit fixated or maybe habitual about it? After a few dates she decided she had other worries that needed some air.
Of course when she was 18 she couldn't wait to leave home and had an amazing year travelling around the globe!

A lot of kids go through this phase. It can be a tricky time as they get older and start to have those changes happening in their lives. Keep doing what you are doing. Listen, acknowledge her concerns (it's important to recognize them and let her know that they're appropriate, don't just push them to the side), discuss growing up with her, etc. You might even point out how she's changed and grown already.

I was like that at the same age.
Would lie in bed at night and worry about it and even cry!
Also worried about my parents dying and leaving me alone.
My mother just told me I could stay with them forever if I wanted to and she was going to live until she was 100.
Just give reassurance. I grew out of it and left home at 20.

It's incredibly common, try not to worry. Just keep reassuring her that growing up happens very gradually and she'll barely notice the changes, but one day she'll want her own house where she makes the rules & can eat chocolate for breakfast if she wants to & stay up all night if she wants to, but until she WANTS to do that she can live with you. Reassure her that, at 9, feeling like this is normal, but there's nothing to be worried about.