Dealing with a rude daughter

[DealingWithRudeDD]

DD turned 12 recently. She is generally happy, but increasingly disrespectful towards me (her father).

She doesn’t listen to what I say, refers to me by my first name (which I think is a sign she doesn’t see me as having authority but being on the same level as her) and sometimes writes very offensive poems/lyrics about me & then asks me to read them.

Is this part of growing up and approaching her teenage years, or something else? I find her behaviour disrespectful and hurtful. I’ve tried telling her this but it doesn’t seem to sink in. I also wish she could channel her energy in more positive ways.

I am sorry to hear your difficulties with your daughter? Please be assured that girls are simply hard work

My daughter went through a funny stage of writing me letters after we had an argument. Her tone in the letter is quite dramatic. Sometimes this can be due to poor communication between parent & child or simply that the child does not have effective communication skills.

However, what I did was talk to my daughter after a few days as the dramatic stage has passed! I took her out the the environment & planned time together, during this period I pointed out what is not acceptable & how we can resolve matters in the future. I do feel that social media has stunted childrens communication skills because they no longer know how to voice their feelings without texting

Thanks, I’ll try talking to her today. I’m not sure I’ll get to the bottom of whatever feelings she’s having but I’ll try.

What is she like towards her mum & what is the family init ?

What are the consequences for being rude?

There is a book called “how to talk so kids will listen”, I think. It could be a worth a read.

Some people will be on to tell you all teenagers are like that but they really, really are not. It is a communication problem between you and your DD and as parents we are the ones with the responsibility to figure these issues out.

As an aside my kids call both my husband and me by our names even though we refer to each other as your Mum and your Dad, we have never thought about it being rude but everyone is different I guess.

and sometimes writes very offensive poems/lyrics about me & then asks me to read them.

That's her way of communicating with you, to get your attention.

Thanks all. I got to the bottom of it on the end. I had to guess what was upsetting her since she didn’t really want to talk about it.

But her mood is better now so that’s good.