11 year old DD constant drama

[crispsandnuts]

Looking for reassurance that it gets better. I know its hormonal, however it's so hard the irrational behaviour and constant drama with friends. Isn't happy unless she has a friend at the house or being at theirs, just never seems happy. Even shopping becomes a chore as begging for things like a toddler, everything has me on edge and like its almost pushing my buttons to annoy me. Positive stories required from the other side or teenage life!

[flashpaper]

I have no reassurance at all, only sympathy and solidarity, because I've literally just come on here to post pretty much the same question!
My 11yo DD is driving me mad. She's constantly at odds with me, everything I say or do or ask is met with the opposite. If I said something was black she would argue it was white. We've also got the friendship dramas. She is the only one of her friendship group who got into a certain high school so now she's telling me she has no friends and struggles to make friends, but she does an after school club (which we signed her up to help make some friends) and she's telling me she wants to quit. I don't know what to do, I don't think she knows what she wants so I've got no chance. I'm also under no illusion that it's going to get better, only worse as she hits teens. I'm just hoping that I've done enough that she turns into a nice adult when she's done.

[crispsandnuts]

So hard isn't it? I've the same saga about friends going to different schools too, just adds to the drama and strops. I try to pick the battles but it's constant demands or unhappy with every decision I make. She's so lucky in terms of what she has in her life but she's oblivious

[Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin]

My 10 year old is very argumentative at the moment.
I try and walk away when she starts so it doesn't escalate but it is sooo hard. DH doesn't have as much patience as me but funnily enough she doesn't play up with him as much!

[GougeAway]

I can't help as we're going through the same. Youngest child in Year 7 (probably). Wants to be a little girl still but shooting up at a ridiculous rate. Lots of friendship issues but a desperate need to be with friends ALL THE TIME. Tears, sulking, 'forgetting' rules and instructions given. So much worse than her fiery sister who just blew up then got over it. DD2 is moody all the time. And don't get me started on the mess (clothes, room, whole bloody house).

[crispsandnuts]

They should do respite for harassed parents. I really can't remember being that awkward at that age. Don't think phones help, constant message checking and over analysing any text of friends.

[flashpaper]

*She's so lucky in terms of what she has in her life but she's oblivious
*
Oddly enough I said this to DD last night. I only wish I could have had the opportunities she has when I was her age.
She's a good girl really, her best friends mum adores her because she does as she's told and is no bother. At home she does as she's told but there's always always a sulky element to it. I'm sick of hearing "well, sorry!". She winds her brother up endlessly too, the poor kid just wants his sister to like him (but I can relate to that being a younger sibling!).

[CatsArePeople]

Less micromanagement and don't demand her to be happy. If she feels like sulking, let her.

[Lessofallthisunpleasantness]

Just popping in to say both my girls were tricky for a few years around 11 to 14 but are late teens now and just lovely almost all the time. Just grit your teeth. This too shall pass.

[ChiselandBits]

Christ yes. Absolutely at the end of my rope with my y11 yo. Literally says black is white. We just went to the park at her request; started the thing she wanted to do first then she just lost it and started screaming that we ALWAYS do this and its not fair and she wanted to do X but now we won't because DS will object (DS is standing there perfectly happy to go and do X) and then when I said that's fine, we can do X, screamed again that she didn't want to now because....I don't know, fuck knows. I was literally crying in the park at the utter contrariness of her. Sorry, that's no help I know.

[srirachamayo]

This thread has made me feel less alone. Thank you🌻