11 year old dieting

[Snoopbeef]

Hi my soon to be 12 year old is showing some signs of controlling behaviour around food. She's stared missing the odd meal, refusing favourite desserts and biscuits and only eating half her dinner.

We always have family dinner together so I have encouraged a social aspect to meal times and (having had anorexia myself as a teen) have been sure not to make an issue with food.

She dances so I would expect her to be body conscious and she is very slim but does not currently look under weight. She started high school in September and all going very well though I do see that she feels under pressure from herself to succeed.

I am unsure if it's just a phase or the beginning of a worrying stage. Any advice welcome on how to navigate this.

I've not hot any experience of eating disorders but I've seen FEAST recommended on MN many times.

I'd say if it's got to the point where you've noticed and you're asking MN for help then it's definitely worth giving FEAST a call.

A book like The Myth of the Perfect Girl might help if she's feeling under stress at school

Everyone ignored mine - presumably not wanting to make a fuss and hoping I'd grow out of it. But in my experience it gets stronger, you get weaker and then it's much much harder to pull yourself back.

I wish my Mum had sat me down earlier and explained that she'd noticed and she was worried and tried to talk about the emotions / stress / pressure and helped me to work through them another way.

Maybe try and open up a conversation around stress and pressure and say that you've noticed she's eating differently. Mention how it's really normal if you're starting to feel a bit out of control in life to take more control over food...

I'm not an expert so definitely take the recommendation above for organisations who could help too.