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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Preteen boundaries

1 reply

Baklavababy · 12/02/2022 23:19

Our DD aged 11, nearly 12, seems to think we are the worst parents in the world as her friends have so much more freedom.
We let her use her iPad and phone in her room, but she has to charge them downstairs overnight, her friends don't have any restrictions on their usage. She has TikTok and Snapchat. We let her watch 12 rated films but not 15s yet but her friends watch older films. Her friends have Applepay on their phones, whereas she just has cash or uses her bank card. Tonight she asked me to buy some books, one of which sounded a bit inappropriate . I googled it and a book review site said it had inappropriate sexual content not suitable for under 15s. I told her not just yet and there was plenty of time for those sort of books, but she just said she'd get it from one of her friends, and that we are the strictest out of all her friends' group parents.

She thinks we are controlling, and I get that it's normal to push the boundaries, but everything is a battle with her, and it's really wearing. She's reasonably mature for her age, and we want to show willing and give her some freedom but at the same time protect her. How do you strike the balance? Please no judgement, I just need help with striking the balance and getting this right so we don't alienate her.

OP posts:
FortunesFave · 13/02/2022 00:05

I don't know what book it was....but at 12 years old, they're fully aware of sex and I personally don't like witholding literature from children who want to read it.

I never had restrictions on my reading and neither do my DDs. They're 13 and 17 now.

If they want to read something, let them...if they want to talk about the themes afterwards, be there for them.

What book was it? I agree that Apple Pay on the phone is a ridiculous thing though....I bet all of her friends don't have it either...probably one or two.

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