How to get DD11 out of bed!

[PlanktonsComputerWife]

Learning difficulties, 11, sweetest child alive usually, but an immovable angry lump in the morning (like her parents). It's got to where she won't get up without the duvet being taken off and without loud repeated prompting (yelling, essentially).

I am not shouty at all and would hate to be got up that way.

She goes to bed early (8-something) and is getting enough sleep.

She is a nightmare to get up and get ready for school- angry, stroppy, tearful. Then after 30mins a switch goes off and she's her normal lovely self.

Any ideas?

Could you use one of those light box alarms which gradually turns on. Then by the time you have to do the wake up they are already a bit awake.

Thanks for your reply. That's a good idea, but she sleeps with her lamp on low all the time anyway (wakes up screaming if it goes off).

My son was like that before he was diagnosed with PoTs, it takes him ages to get going in the morning, now with medication things are much better

How about an alarm that goes off with music she likes?

Don't know if one of those light alarms could be on low then set to get brighter at a certain time? I have an Alexa linked to my bedside lamp and I tell it to switch on as soon as my alarm goes off so I'm less likely to go back to sleep.

Something nice for breakfast also helps.

Would taking a drink and breakfast up to her so she had a bit if an energy hit before getting out of bed help? I know it sounds a bit indulgent but might be worth a try.

We have the opposite problem in our house...my teenager bounces out of bed at 6.30am whilst I'm like a grumpy old troll until I absolutely have to shift my carcass!

Oh, I hadn't heard of that. It hadn't occurred to me it might be medical rather than behavioural.

I might try to get a GP appointment

We have the opposite problem in our house...my teenager bounces out of bed at 6.30am whilst I'm like a grumpy old troll until I absolutely have to shift my carcass!

I should count my blessings. THAT sounds like hell on earth!

I really like your suggestions, especially the alarm with music.

@PlanktonsComputerWife

She's a 17yo gym bunny. Sometimes I get up before 8am and she's already left...I think she was inadvertently trained by XH who used to have to be in work for 6-7am and usually woke her up getting ready.

Alexa is wonderful thing...you can set it to wake you up with music from Amazon Music or Spotify, get it to turn the light on with a smart plug etc (I've also got one on my electric blanket).

Next thing I'm investing in is a smart plug for the kettle so it's quicker to get my caffeine fix in the morning...maybe best not try that with an 11yo though!

@MissSmiley what medication please?
I have a PoTS but no specialist (long boring story) and propranolol was helping the tachycardia but now it just makes me ill.

Sympathies OP - also wondering the same with my 14yo who has suddenly stopped being able to get herself up for school after being perfectly independent. She’s autistic but her mental health is actually better than usual at the moment.

Maybe give her something to look forward to, a reason to WANT to get out of bed

I would try and help her come round easier in a morning, rather than forcefully move her from bed. Start a wake up routine similar to a calm down routine you might have before bed, but in reverse!

Put her big light on half an hour before you need her up. Then turn or some music or an audio book. I recommend a yoto box for the daily podcast, it’s fun to listen to in a morning.
Window open to lower the room temperature. Cover removed 5 minutes before you really need her up.

[quote SingToTheSky]@MissSmiley what medication please?
I have a PoTS but no specialist (long boring story) and propranolol was helping the tachycardia but now it just makes me ill.

Sympathies OP - also wondering the same with my 14yo who has suddenly stopped being able to get herself up for school after being perfectly independent. She’s autistic but her mental health is actually better than usual at the moment.[/quote]
The first thing they try is salt tablets which has worked well with my son, morning and night, lots of water and exercise

Can you get her a fitbit or similar which vibrates on the wrist, I find using one a much more pleasant way to wake up, no sound just vibrations before my actual alarm goes off.

I am really grateful for all the suggestions.

@HRMtheQuern The idea of giving her something to look forward to is a really good one- given that it's never hard to drag her out of bed on Christmas morning! I hope to get a puppy next week and I am sure the joy of seeing him or her will propel DD out of bed for a while!

@ZeroFuchsGiven I never even thought about a fitbit. She might be interested; I'll see.

Hope your DD finds her morning motivation again, @SingToTheSky.

So now I'm off to Google Alexa, radio alarms, fitbits... @Troublesometooth, you speak a lot of sense there. More time waking up and a pleasant routine have to be the way forward.

Following for more suggestions, as the person responsible for getting an 11 year old autistic daughter out of bed in the morning! She genuinely is still tired though, never sleeps until very late at night although the last year or two has developed the ability to sleep in pretty late in the morning if given the chance.

We have an Alexa household and I put one of those 'tuneable' light bulbs in the bedside lamp. It can do warm white and at any light level (very subtle to very bright) for evenings/bedtimes. And it can do daylight-style bright white which I use in the mornings. I've set it up to come on ten minutes before I try to wake her, at 10% light level to start with and then 20% after a minute, 30% after two minutes, etc. By the time 10 minutes have passed it's really very bright! Still doesn't wake her, but she's a bit easier to rouse and drag out of bed since I started using it.

Also recommend the proper sunrise lamps e.g. Lumie but they can be a little pricey. I wake to one of those and it's lovely, it does a great job when combined with my watch buzzing and one or two cats plonking themselves on my chest and miaowing loudly.

@PlanktonsComputerWife have a look at a yoto box when you are researching options.

It doesn’t have a timed wake up feature as such, but you can start it playing remotely from an app on your phone so you don’t need to get out of bed to start going for her!

@Troublesometooth they look ace but really aimed at age 3-12 and the OP's daughter is already 11. I can start the Alexa (Echo Dot) playing from my phone too, with pretty much any music or audiobook I could think of. :-)

I think we'd definitely have purchased a yoto if they'd been available a few years ago, though.