DS is a standard kind of chap - excellent sense of humour, fairly mature for his age, trustworthy, maybe a little serious sometimes, can sometimes be a little emotional (gets tearful) - nothing unusual for his age group. He's our youngest and last child at home.

We live overseas so we are in our long summer holiday at the moment and he is due to start Intermediate School soon.

He doesn't enjoy ball sports, or athletics, but has always liked water-based activities so he's done swimming, windsurfing, sailing etc.

I'd noticed during this past year that he had opted out of swims in the school pool - he's taller and more 'thick-set' than most of his peers and he'd told me that he didn't like standing out from the crowd being taller and broader. We've also been schooling from home (teacher online) for most of this year due to COVID lockdowns so opportunities for activities outside the home have been limited too.

Activities are just getting going again as lockdown restrictions ease - his swimming coach contacted us yesterday to invite him to take part in some swimming lessons/activities.

He got very upset and tearful when we mentioned it to him - and after making explanations around why it would be inconvenient for us to take him (working from home), why it's too repetitive for him as he's had lessons for so many years, and many other reasons why he shouldn't go ... he finally cracked and revealed that he 'knows' he is fat and has a big 'gut' and weighs many kg more than his classmates - he hates wearing the rash top and wouldn't even contemplate not wearing a top.

We definitely aren't the slimmest family on the planet - but he's not fat - I don't think so anyway - he's proportionally 'solid' in build.

We tried reassuring him that he's at an age where kids develop at different rates and that he's always been the same - especially before a growth spurt, where he tends to get a little 'chunkier' and then shoots up and the weight seems to distribute itself evenly all over him again.

He's not the best eater - he's quite sensitive to textures of foods and likes his foods to be separate on his plate - so he wouldn't like pasta with a chorizo and tomato sauce on it, but would eat pasta with separate tomato sauce and separate chorizo, for example. He also doesn't like some textures of cooked food - so carrots are fine raw but not roasted or steamed.

We've reassured him that we won't force him to go swimming, and he's asked us to help him find a sport that doesn't require tight clothing - so we are looking into tennis and basketball (both of which he's enjoyed in the past) - and have resolved to start going on hikes as a family together (which lockdown put a stop to last year); we've also tried to reassure him that he's perfectly normal for his age, but he is firm in his view that his body is abhorrent and needs to be covered by loose clothing.

We've also recently planted a veg garden at home so, without commenting on the quality of his food intake at the moment, I've said that another great family activity might be to explore some new recipes to use the veggies we are growing - which he seemed very keen on.

Any tips of how to guide him to a better self-image would be much appreciated.