Does anyone else still pick their year8 child up from school?

[DrMartensHearts]

DD has anxiety and gets to school a mixture of ways. Sometimes a lift with schoolmate, mostly walking with a friend.

But on the occasions where after school activities don't line up with her walking pals I have to walk to pick her up.

She just doesn't like walking home alone.

When she meets her friend to walk to school she meets her about 1/3 of the way there, so does walk a little alone.

She is on the SEN register at school because of her anxiety.

Is this something I should continue to do as long as she wants me to, or should I tell her it's ok to walk alone?

For context is a 20 min walk along an extremely busy main road and she is almost 13.

I think it's okay, it's not every day and she is gaining some independence by walking with her friend. If you're wanting to encourage that independence maybe try meeting her a very short distance from school initially and then a bit further. Or you could chat to her on the phone while she is walking. It really doesn't matter what other people do, if she needs your support she needs your support.

@JKDinomum

I think it's okay, it's not every day and she is gaining some independence by walking with her friend. If you're wanting to encourage that independence maybe try meeting her a very short distance from school initially and then a bit further. Or you could chat to her on the phone while she is walking. It really doesn't matter what other people do, if she needs your support she needs your support.

Thankyou. That's actually really what I needed to hear. I guess I worry when I am the only parent standing outside school waiting.

Thinking about it there are many kids getting into cars. Maybe I feel like this cause I don't drive and other kids all walk home alone.

I pick my 15 year old DS up from school. He walks half way with mates and then I get him. Work from home so it's no big deal for me

So what if you are. You do what your child needs and let others worry about their children.

You could try, as pp suggested, meeting further and further away from school if that would help her in future.

I walk and get my DD from school (similar age) if she’s staying for an extra curricular. It’s not far so no need to drive but it’s dark and not so many people around so I go and get her. As you say, loads of kids getting into cars, it’s no different!

My 13 year old has SEN and anxiety.

Since Covid I mostly pick her up and drop off in the car. She does meet me partway for the pick up.

She's lost her confidence taking the bus - especially as she doesn't get on with some of the other children that get her bus. I'd also rather she avoided the horrible kids too.

My main objective is that she goes to school and stays there for all her lessons, and that she gets home safely afterwards.

If dropping her off and collecting her achieves that, then that's what I'll do.

I think it's important that you tell her it's OK for her to walk home from school alone. That doesn't mean you can't walk to collect her. But don't let her think you HAVE to collect her. Could she start walking to meet you part way?

Thankyou everyone. I guess I needed some reassurance that it's ok to get her. Sounds silly written down.

She may feel differently by next spring when it's lighter and warmer.

It's no different to people driving there child to school and I know kids in year 11 who still get dropped off and picked up.

My mum never picked me up from secondary school, and it broke my heart. Primary occasionally but she was busy working. Once she forgot me ☹️ It still hurts me now!! Carry on picking her up. The walk home from school isn’t a big ‘independence lesson’; see it as quality time for the two of you. I’d have adored my mum picking me up. I still would now & she wouldn’t do it. She tells me she offers my brother lifts etc and at 34, it still stings. Carry on! Xxxx