12 year old dd

[BurplessCucumbers]

Dd recently started year 7 where she is settled and content apart from feeling left behind her peers. She is not as tall as many of the girls in her year, although she is October born. She still likes to play with toys, mainly with her younger sister and they can spend hours on a weekend playing together. She's not into Youtubers or social media but has joined the Hockey team at school and plays the clarinet in the school orchestra, which she enjoys.

She hasn't got her period yet and she is worried that she is babyish and doesn't quite feel like she fits in with the other girls.

How can I reassure her that it's all perfectly normal and that she will develop at her own rate? How common is it for a just 12 year old not to have her period yet and enjoy playing with lego or their younger sibling's toys? TBH, she does seem a bit young for her age in comparison to other girls her age.

For context, I started my period at 12 years and 4 months, which was early compared to my friends at the time .

It's more common than you think for them to play. Boys seem more open about playing still at this age but because many girls mature faster, they feel the pressure not to admit to playing.

It will change...but she should keep playing. To be frank, I've never grown out of playing. I still love making things with Fimo, I collect vintage dolls and love doll's houses.

DD still plays a bit and she's 13.

When my daughter was at the exact same stage she still got a doll for her 12 birthday, and played with her little sister setting up elaborate play homes.
Even a year on, she likes some things she considers childish and I remind her that many many grown ups adore Disney so she she just gets on with it.

I was a very slow developer and do remember girls in my year aged 12/13 with boyfriends, it will always be thus!

My DD is year 7, although still 11, and exactly the same. She happily still plays with her Barbies sometimes and plays "schools" with her younger sister. I didn't start my period until I was 14 so I imagine it will be later for her too. There is plenty of time for her to be "grown-up". Tell her to just keep doing what she enjoys doing. Childhood is such a short period of our lives.

There is plenty of time for her to be "grown-up". Tell her to just keep doing what she enjoys doing. That's a really helpful way of thinking about it, I'll remind her of this.

To be frank, I've never grown out of playing. I still love making things with Fimo, I collect vintage dolls and love doll's houses That's lovely, funnily enough, dd loves Fimo.

It seems that lots of girls get their periods earlier these days, but maybe it's just confirmation bias. She's playing with Sylvanians but hides them when her friends from primary school are visiting. She hasn't set up any 'playdates' with new school friends but is on friendly terms with a few. I suspect it's because she doesn't know what to do in terms of activities and how to spend her time with new friends.

My DD is October born Y8. She only started her period at 12 and 6 months. She says none of her friends talk about it! When she goes for 'playdate' with friends they usually go into town (Cafe and superdrug), jump on trampoline, bake, watch Netflix together. They don't play with toys per SE but lots of fooling around. One girl had a bouncy castle for her 12th in June and they bounced on it for about 5 hours!

Thank you @MerryMarigold, trampoline sounds greta, although I have resisted so far to have one but maybe it would be a fun activity.

Letting them bake is a good idea too, how does the usually play out? Do they need help with things or just chose a recipe and do it all beginning to end?

Dd doesn't fancy going to town yet, it might be a confidence issue too, but I'm sure she'd would happily watch Netflix with friends.

Aw she sounds lovely. My dd is 13.5 and looks about 15. She went up to town with her friends yesterday and I thought to myself how grown up and ' oool' they looked. But they went in the lego shop and she comes back having spent her monry on lego figures! I hear her talking to her 'boyfriend' about marvel films and showing him her funko pop collection (basically dolls). So yes just tell her to keep doing what she enjoys as pp have said.

So today my y7 11 year old 12 in jan has done.
Laid in bed till 11 on tiktok
Watched squid games
Got ready
Gone for a walk to shopping centre with me and her sister aged 6 and got some Halloween stuff.
Fed ducks at lake
Done homework
Jumped on trampoline with her sister
Read on wattpadd she loves this as people make harry potter stories up its an app she downloaded.
I've straightened her hair.
Shes currently watching tiktok and making videos. She makes loads of edits etc this is how she passes her time as well as tormenting her sister. A friend of hers however plays with barbies and washes their hair in silver shampoo. My dd has has only had 4 periods so far so she only recently started.

@BurplessCucumbers, her friends have never come here so it's what I've seen when I pick her up or what she tells me they've done. She has some social anxiety and thinks they will have a terrible time if they come to our house (plus her friends are all quite well off and have very huge, amazing houses!). They just seen to get on with the baking themselves. I think a couple of them do it quite a bit. There's no way DD would go into town on her own but one friend lives close to it so they often go there from her house, or go back to her house afterwards, or else I drop her. A couple of her friends are very confident so I think it helps boost her confidence. Maybe don't get a trampoline unless you have younger children too, not sure how long they'll be on it but it does serve as an 'extra room' even if they just sit on it and chat!

My dd is half way there. Yr 7, bras, periods, doesn’t play with toys. Spends her time staring at her iPad and her kindle. Occasionally knits/sews if I force her to do something else. However, she isn’t that confident to go out to the shops with friends etc yet.

I don’t think periods are connected with how emotionally mature they are. It’s common for girls to start early, at 10, 11 or even earlier, please don’t make them think they have to be grown up at that point.

I started my periods at nearly 12, I’m pretty sure I was still playing with my sindys then.

OP every child develops at a different rate, there’s no rush to grow up! My youngest is 14 and into clothes and make up. I miss the days of her being little. 11/12 is still very young, they’re children. As long as she has friends I wouldn’t worry.