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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

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Original poster

Bedwetting Help

17 replies

Gatormom · 10/10/2021 02:50

This is a sensitive topic in my family, but I was looking for some advice. I noticed that there were other posts on here and considered a lot of their recommendations, but wanted to see if there are any other thoughts.

My daughter (9 years) still wets the bed. She has done this her whole life. Doctor has checked many different things (encopresis, sleep study, diabetes, and more) to rule out as much as possible. We've also done many things to work on this such as lifting, stopping drinks before bed, waking up at a certain time, and more. Ultimately, nothing has proven successful long term (although there has been occasional short term success) and we've been advised it may stop at puberty.

The struggle is that our daughter is sensitive to the fact that she still struggles and has to wear nappies (we use pull ups now) even though her brother does not (he has no clue that she wears them). We want to provide her support, let her know that it's okay, and help her feel more secure about herself. Any thoughts or ideas would be appreciated. Really just a stressed mom looking for some help.

OP posts:

HoneyDewMel · 10/10/2021 02:51

Who lives in your household

HappyAsASandboy · 10/10/2021 03:26

I don't have any advice, but am following because we're in a similar situation here.

@HoneyDewMel why do you ask that?

Sunbird24 · 10/10/2021 03:33

Have you been signposted to the ERIC website OP?

HopeYourHighHorseBucks · 10/10/2021 03:48

Hi OP no advice except I was that child. I was younger when finally stopped but can still remember wetting the bed. I will say that I was just as suprised as my DM when I woke to a wet patch on the bed, I genuinely wouldn't wake up or notice when doing it!

My DM at first tried rewards, limiting drinks, setting alarms etc some weeks I would have no other accidents, others I would wee every night. I still have a weak bladder now. The more tired I was the more likely I was to not wake so DM was strict with a routine and I also slept with a mattress protector. Eventually I just stopped (sorry I know that's no help)

Original poster

Gatormom · 10/10/2021 18:10

Thank you all so much. Thank you for the idea about ERIC. I had heard of them but never looked at them. I will definitely look through their site and reach out to them for advice.

We have a lot of patience with our daughter and are really trying to keep from stressing her out or putting pressure on her. Was stressed last night and just looking for support.

OP posts:

adreamofspring · 10/10/2021 18:20

ERIC sells absorbent PJs, I think. There’s lots of help and gadgets now compared to when my brother struggled when we were little. He was fine by age 12. It will get better. Hugs for your little girl.

PragmaticWench · 10/10/2021 18:34

We've been advised to increase fluids in the morning and afternoon, to increase the bladder capacity. The idea is the bladder can then cooe with more fluid at night. It can also be linked to hormone production.

Genehuntsfanclub · 10/10/2021 18:34

Hi
I have experience of this with my youngest son. We were eventually referred to Urology who did a bladder scan after he had been on Desmopressin for a year or so. The scan was completely normal so the Urologist reassured us that this is a lot more common than people realise it's just not talked about due to embarrassment for both children and parents. We were told that once into puberty and the right level of hormones being produced then this would stop. The doctor was right. It took until my son was 12 but he's completely dry now and off medication. I know it's worrying but there is help out there. Our school nurse was brilliant so it might be worth contacting your school nurse for advise. Just reassure your daughter ( which I'm sure you are already) that other children in her class probably in the same situation and it will get better. We stuck with pull-ups as it's what worked for us. Manufacturers wouldn't make them in ages 12-15 if there wasn't a need for them.

StrongArm · 10/10/2021 18:45

Both dp's dcs bed wet till they were around 10 I think

We just never mentioned it. No fuss about it at all. Pull ups at night - just made sure they were on. It runs in dp's family so we knew it would stop at some point. After a few weeks of dry pull ups, out of them and that was it. Have to be careful not to wear pyjama bottoms as that can sometimes trigger it. Btw we never tried treats/bribes as with the family history, we were pretty sure none of it would work and would just make them feel bad about themselves.

We just made sure that absolutely no one ever made a disparaging comment about it. I spoke to my older kids and they were totally on board and tbh we all then just forgot about it and got on with it!

Clymene · 10/10/2021 18:48

Have you tried desmopressin? That kickstarted one of my kids who was late to get dry at night.

ChampagneCommunist · 10/10/2021 19:00

Mine still weta when I'll. has pretty much stopped other than that.

Nearly 13; we use a plastic under sheet

RainBow725 · 10/10/2021 19:10

I second ERIC and ask your GP to refer you to an enuresis clinic. They can provide alarms and the right medication. For my DS, growing and time was the ultimate answer but a few things helped in the meantime. E.g. stopping certain drinks - orange and black currant squash for some reason.

fabulous01 · 10/10/2021 19:12

The ERIC help line is amazing. Please ring them before buying products

chickenfeathers · 10/10/2021 23:08

My youngest DD had issues until she was about 8, but she is fine now. I don't think bribery or treats will help in this situation, as it is involuntary and she cannot help being wet.

Firstly, get referred to your local enuresis clinic and speak to the school nurse. They will be able to advise what will be best. However, the following helped my DD:

Increasing fluid intake during the day, and no drinks in the 2 hour period before bed.

Cutting out blackcurrant and dark fruit based drinks (summer fruits, ribena etc) as these are diuretics.

Wear pants under pull-ups so that she can feel the wetness if she starts to wee in the night.

Pop a mattress protector on just in case.

Malem alarms are fantastic. My DD had one and it finally helped to resolve the issue once and for all. The enuresis clinic should be able to advise you on this.

I hope this helps.

Original poster

Gatormom · 11/10/2021 03:44

Wow, thank you all so much. My daughter and I sat down on the ERIC website and looked at different things. We are going to try one of the cloth options on the site. I will call them today to get some advice and perhaps info for a continence clinic.

I haven't looked into an alarm yet, but I may do that if my daughter wants. We agree that bribes and rewards are a no go since it sort of sends the wrong message that she's doing something wrong. She was having a rough day two days ago and had a little meltdown at bedtime. She's feeling better, but I don't want her to ever feel insecure.

OP posts:

goingslowfornow · 11/10/2021 03:48

I wet the bed until I was 12, when it stopped.

It will get better. Lots of love and support helps

Mammaaof · 11/10/2021 03:49

My son was put on desmomelt at the age of 6 stopped him wetting the bed! I didn't do the alarm

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