My feed

to access all these features

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.


What freedoms do your 10 yr olds (yr 6)?

14 replies

Ticklemycarpets · 10/09/2021 21:31

Daughter has just started year 6. Most of the kids are now allowed to walk home from school alone and also walk to the park after school.
This is all new this week and I need some advice on how to set my daughter up for it. What boundaries do you set? I realise I need to help guide her about making sensible decisions about things that might crop up.
She doesn't have a phone yet but most of her friends do.

OP posts:
Aroundtheworldin80moves · 10/09/2021 21:35

With my DD the main rule is I need to know... so she can chat with her friends for a few minutes after school, but I then need to see her at home. She goes to local shop alone. Her phone lives in our living room... she doesn't take it to school. I keep an eye on her contacts.

CatsArePeople · 10/09/2021 23:20

Does she have a watch?

shapes1 · 10/09/2021 23:22


lawofdistraction · 10/09/2021 23:38

DD has also just started year 6. She walks to and from school, but we do only live about 2 mins away with no main roads to cross. She knows not to dawdle home or that I would worry.
She has a phone at home that she uses for watching YouTube and emailing friends. I periodically check her watch history to make sure it's appropriate and read a few emails. She knows I do this and we've talked about social media moving forward...we've agreed that at 13 she can have the accounts she wants, but until she is 16 I will have access to them.

Ticklemycarpets · 11/09/2021 07:52

@CatsArePeople yes she does, very good point - I need to remind her to wear it!
Then we can arrange a time for her to come home from the park.

OP posts:
Ticklemycarpets · 11/09/2021 07:56

With the trips to the park alone, this week some wanted to go to the shops and they all got swept up about going. Had they gone, none of the parents would have known where they were.

OP posts:
EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 11/09/2021 07:58

Since the end of the last school year mine has been able to go to the park up the road from our house after school , he has a watch on and a time to come back.

He walks to and from school as far in front of us as he can get, his brother is year 4 so I'm still walking him

He can go to the shop around the corner from us on his own

Angel2702 · 11/09/2021 08:00

I would get a cheap basic phone if they will be on their own. Even my older ones sometimes have to call me in an emergency or if something happens they aren’t comfortable about. Mine used to ring me often walking home when they first started doing it for reassurance. My 13 year old still does when he gets off the bus sometimes.

wowsaidtheowl · 14/09/2021 20:27

Mine travels to and from school alone, including getting a train. She has a phone with Google Family Link which means that I can see her location - I find this reassuring if she forgets to keep me informed where she is. Our rule is that she messages me or calls to tell me what she’s doing.

PennyWus · 10/10/2021 04:31

My Y6 DD has a hand-me-down iPhone from my DH, and rule is that she keeps it charged (we do check it), puts it in her school bag every morning (we do check that too). It has to be off and handed in at school, so we ask her to turn it on when she retrieves it as leaves school. I am training her at the moment to check her phone for messages when she first turns it back on. We have tracking on, so get phone actively messages us when she leaves the school gates, when she enters the local park and leaves the park again.

We have lots of rules about the phone and have emphasized at present it isn't a toy and it isn't for entertainment (she has an iPad at home for that) which is why she doesnt have many apps on it. But that is another thread.

Most of DD's friends walk to and from school "alone" now. We have been building up to it - in Y5 I walked the first, quieter half mile of the walk with her, and then she would meet friends and do the second half mile with them. I also said she couldnt walk alone until she passed my Test. This was, over many many weeks, me getting her to answer questions about what she would do in different scenarios. I wanted to test her judgement. I know that in real life she probably won't do what she says she would do, but it is a start, training her to be savvy and safe.

My DD comes straight home as she doesnt go past shops, and her friends don't walk past the same park as her. So I guess I'm lucky. Same with her route from secondary school, when she eventually goes there.

I'm hoping to train her to head straight home after school as I want her to do homework first. Usually she is desperate to come home to get a snack and watch Netflix before I start nagging her about piano practice!

kajks · 25/10/2021 22:54

Interested to hear what types of questions you asked in your "test". My dd is in y6 and facing similar challenges

milkysmum · 26/10/2021 07:31

My year 5 go to and from school on his own ( well him and a friend from the street together ). It's about 3/4 mile.
Most children have been playing out unaccompanied since/ going to the park etc since year 4 round here. We live in a small village.

SmallestInTheClass · 16/11/2021 13:47

Mine did a 10 minute walk home at that age, but not going to the park. Didn't have a phone until Y7. Get them to memorise your mobile number in case they ever get stuck - even if they have a phone then it's no help if the reason they want to call you is that their phone is lost/stolen.

TheCreamCaker · 16/11/2021 14:50

My 10-year-old Granddaughter walks to and from school, with a couple of friends. The walk is about 1/4 of a mile, with 1 main road to cross. She's got a mobile, so she could ring someone if necessary. Her mother is at home by the time she gets in.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.