Rules for the youngest child.

[Tumbleweed101]

I was just wondering how others manage rules and expectations of the youngest child of a larger sibling group. I have two adult children 23 and 21 and a 15 (16 in Jan) child and a 12yo.

Obviously the gap between the 12yo and 15 yo has widened due to normal development but the 12yo expects to be treated the same as the 15yo.

For example, I'm going away next month. 21yo dd and 15yo dd are staying home alone but I have arranged my family to have the 12yo to stay with them. 12yo is now making a fuss about not needing to be looked after etc (there is no compromise on this scenario, I would not leave her with just siblings for that long. 21yo dd does shifts including night shifts)

But it has made me realise 12yo is trying to be much older than she is and gets frustrated by the fact she can't do the same as older siblings.

I just wondered how others might deal with this situation as it is a new one for me and it is likely to become more challenging in the next couple years!

Well, you remind them that siblings 1, 2, and 3 didn't do X, Y, or Z until they were 15/16/18/ 21.

I'm not sure why you think this is an issue for your 4th dc, if it wasn't for dc3 . Surely there is an age gap between them and their older siblings ?

My third has never made a fuss about boundaries. She has always been easy going. My last is very different in personality.

Surely a 12yo can stay with the 21yo sibling? I'd be more worried about a 15yo organizing a party.

I would expect a 12 yo to be able to stay at home with siblings.

I wouldn’t leave the youngest with the elder siblings, the 21 yo will already be the responsible adult with the 15 yo. It’s a lot of responsibility.

Tell her her older siblings might resent her, and you, if she is allowed to do things earlier than they were. Plus if she wants to be treated as being older than she is she needs to act that way and not expect to get her own way for stropping.

I wouldn’t leave the youngest with the elder siblings, the 21 yo will already be the responsible adult with the 15 yo. It’s a lot of responsibility.

Neither 15yo nor the 12yo need any hands-on babysitting. Only responsibility is to keep an eye out so they don't demolish the house.

i share your pain! i have a 19 and 17 year old and an 11 year old. youngest expects to be treated like the 17 year old. id much more mouthy and started swearing! wants to be on screens all the time. its tough to keep reminding them that they are 11 and need different rules , but im battling on