So...

[Beline4u]

How do I choose my battles with my preteen? I am actually loosing it. They are out right rude, lazy and unmotivated!! Help me see the difference because it feels like we are arguing with him all the dam time!!!
HELP!!!!

[DominicRaabsTravelAgent]

It's so difficult isn't it but I'd start with the rudeness abs ignore the rest. DD can be absolutely horrible at times but will backtrack when she knows I mean business. I took her on an outing that she wanted on Sunday abs she was so rude afterwards that I told her if she didn't stop, I'd never take her there again. She knows I mean it so rather reluctantly shut up.

[Beline4u]

It's awful!! He back chats and HAS to have the last word! I try to ignore but end up snapping. He can be cheeky. For example clothes need to be put in the basket not the floor and bed needs to be made. I see socks pushed under the bed and 8 clearly point out they aren't in the basket "eh they are mine"... everytime! Anything that he has done "eh that wasn't me" when it very clearly WAS HIM!!!

[DominicRaabsTravelAgent]

I'm probably the wrong person to ask as I still put away the clean washing for my older teens as I can't be bothered with the stress of them lying around.

I'd try and keep calm and ask him who's socks are they then? If you're having trouble keeping calm, you really need to work on that, although I know it can be hard