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Very demanding 10 year old
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Tereo · 20/08/2021 10:02

Any tips on dealing with a very demanding child? Sometimes it feels like communication with 10 yo Dd is constant demands, she might make 10 demands by lunch time - stuff to buy, activities to do, friends to meet . Her older brothers ask for nothing. She s definitely got worse over last 18 months.
I don't give into the demands but it doesn't seem to be helping.
Today for example I went for a walk with a friend and our kids. Half way through the walk Dd starting whining that her head was sore and she wanted to go home. I told her we were on our way back to car and we d get home then but she just wouldn't stop. Ended up in tears, I think she genuinely believed her head was sore (I didn't believe her she was fine as soon as she got home - in recent months she s often made up an ailment to get out of something.)
Another example, took her and friends for a walk yesterday. Everyone happy until she said they were thirsty and asked for soft drinks. I said no they could get a drink in 15 minutes when we got home(they'd already had ice-cream) . She wouldn't let up, kept on and on at me in front of her friends.
I did bring this up with her later and she didnt seem to see the way she was acting wasn't on.
Any tips?! How do I get my lovely daughter back!

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Thehogfatherstolemycurry · 20/08/2021 10:10

Before you go out tell her you aren't going to put up with demands and there will be consequences if she does then follow through with the consequences.
At 10 she is also old enough to tell her how it makes you feel.
Before you go out tell her "dd, we will be doing this and this, you will have food/drink here at this time, please don't keep asking for things when we're out it's exhausting, makes me feel sad. I will not be listening to your demands but if you do it you will have no screen time for the next 24 hours"
When you are out if she starts tell her you have already talked about this and if she continues the consequences will happen. If she continues ignore completely while you are out then follow through with the chosen consequences.

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SmidgenofaPigeon · 20/08/2021 10:15

Blimey, how wearing. I can’t bear it when children pester, especially if they’ve already been told.

I would say she could start taking more responsibility for things. If she knows she’s going to get thirsty maybe she can start filling and taking her own water bottle out. If she knows she’s going to get cold grab a hoodie etc. Other than that tell her ‘we are doing this and snack/lunch will be at x time, please don’t pester’ get her a watch.

If she keeps whining and creating a drama- consequences. What could these be?

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Tereo · 20/08/2021 10:44

Thanks so much. That is good advice moving on about setting some clear rules and consequences .
I've spent this summer worrying about her as her behaviour is so intense. She had friends over a few weeks ago and was up to ninety all day. I was already feeling stressed as she was so reved up (her friends werent) when she went and broke her arm falling off a climbing frame. Felt very sorry for her at the time and didn't say a word for a few weeks but recently in conversation about her behaviour have said I think that she fell as she was hyper and not caring for herself (totally true she was arsing around 2metres off the ground chasing her friend for a hat)

I know her brothers went through difficult preteen stages but are great teenagers so am hoping this will pass too. She's dyslexic but thinks very fast and very high energy so think she has to figure out how to manage herself, she's all over the place at the moment. Like a clumsy manic gazelle!

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ProfessorInkling · 24/08/2021 10:53

I can’t offer advice but my 10 year old DD is getting like this too. She is exhausting. Most of my energy seems to go on trying to manage her expectations, and then cope with the fallout when the world doesn’t look quite like it did in her head. She’s starting to overreact to things all of the time and any hint of showing empathy seems to be fading.

I’m worn out.

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