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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Original poster

How much freedom does your just starting y7 have

22 replies

RevolvingPivot · 28/07/2021 12:04

I know it depends on the child and the area so I don't really know how asking on here will help.

Dd thinks I'm being unfair but she's only just turned 11 and as there aren't many kids around us hasn't had the opportunity to go out without me.

OP posts:
pinkcattydude · 28/07/2021 12:09

To go to friends house or park or play outside, no roads to cross and less than 3 mins to get anywhere, but DS isn’t 11 yet. He’s quite happy with that but as he gets into secondary I’m sure he’ll want more independence and using the school bus will encourage it.

DaisyWaldron · 28/07/2021 12:12

DD (now 14) had quite a lot of freedom. She cycled to orchestra and sports clubs after school from half way through Y6.

DS will be starting Y7 in September. He is a bit more impulsive, a bit less sensible and has a slightly less well-behaved friendship group, so I'm being a bit more cautious where he's concerned, and mostly restricting him to our house, his friends' houses and the local playground unless there is an adult around, or else giving him very explicit ground rules before letting him out further afield.

Original poster
RevolvingPivot · 28/07/2021 12:13

See we have lots of roads and the park is 10 min but surrounded by old factories. I wouldn't mind so much if it was near houses. The closest shop to us is a supermarket not even a small corner shop.

OP posts:
Original poster
RevolvingPivot · 28/07/2021 12:16

I know I'll not have this issue when my 9 year old turns 11. She's much more sensible now than her older sister.

OP posts:
kowari · 28/07/2021 12:16

DS was walking to and from school and meeting with friends in a small town centre in year six, so 10 yo. We moved to a larger town and he was doing the same in year 7.

kowari · 28/07/2021 12:17

Also meeting in parks and on the recreation ground in year 6.

purplesequins · 28/07/2021 12:19
  • goes to friends houses within a mile radius
  • meet up with friends in the park
  • cycles to music lesson together with friend (3 miles, seggregated cycle path)
enjoyingscience · 28/07/2021 12:20

My year seven walks himself to and from school, will meet friends in the park or walk to the shops, cycles to swimming lessons himself. He has strict times that he has to be in by and I use Android family link and will check where he is if he’s out for a long time.

AnUnlikelyCombination · 28/07/2021 12:21

My just starting Y6 walks herself to local destinations (10-15 minute walks), plays in the park with her friends (adult arranged meet ups, but no adults present) and is responsible for remembering to take her phone, house keys, purse and zip card when she leaves the house. For Y7, I’ll add on bus and tube trips to known destinations.

TiredButDancing · 28/07/2021 12:27

Mine is a bit younger - about to start year 6 - but he's able to go to the parks locally by himself (although most of his friends are not allowed to do this) or with local friends. He will be walking to school and back by himself once school starts. He goes to the local shop alone and has recently started riding his bike down to a bigger park but it's down a long, residential, quite road to get there.

He is ahead of most of his friends but I fully expect most of his buddies will be doing the same by the end of this school year ahead of starting high school. Most are starting to make tentative steps in this direction.

theneverendinglaundry · 29/07/2021 20:41

My DD is starting yr 7 in September and so far hasn't ventured out on her own. We live next to a very busy road and she doesn't have any friends nearby. She keeps asking to go out but I'm not sure I like her going there on her own? It would be okay if she was meeting someone.

Comedycook · 29/07/2021 20:43

At that age, he'd meet friends in the park to play. I would usually drop him off and collect him. Occasionally he'd walk. he'd walk to the shop which is a ten minute walk.

Chronicallymothering · 29/07/2021 20:43

Mine just caught the bus alone there and back from summer school at his new school from September for an 8 minute journey. That felt like a lot to me. We've never lived anywhere with friends nearby.

Original poster
RevolvingPivot · 30/07/2021 11:02

I think having friends nearby massively changes things. I wouldn't mind so much if she was with someone all the time.

OP posts:
mewkins · 30/07/2021 11:08

My dd has just turned 11 and starting y7 in September. She has been walking to and from school with friends all year. Since about Easter she has been going to the local shop with a friend and occasionally on her own. Over the last few months a group of them have walked down to town and around the park etc for a morning or afternoon.

Didiplanthis · 05/08/2021 00:50

Very little but we live rurally with no friends in walking distance and its 3 miles up a fast windy A road with no pavements to the nearest village and shop then another 4 to a town. No sane adults will walk or cycle on it. But knowing the issues with County lines in the town, I'm pretty ok with this situation !

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 05/08/2021 01:31

mine lacks basic awerness so practically nothing.
he's incredibly smart, advanced and mature for his age in many respects, but he seems to have no common sense or a healthy dose of observation when it comes to mundane things. I hope that makes sense.
he's simply not ready to go anywhere by himself yet.
and although he has once come home from school with a trustworthy friend (no adult supervision) I just don't trust his other friends enough to let him go out with them.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 05/08/2021 01:32

*awareness

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 05/08/2021 01:39

btw he is my 5th so it's not a PFB situation!😁
his older brothers have walked home from school alone in y6 or with a y4 sibling together.
in fact DS4 walked to school an back in 2nd half of y5 just a few months after he turned 10).
they never went out with friends to parks or shops though as it just wasn't something they ever asked to do at that age.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 05/08/2021 01:45

and, in fact, when DS4 was in y6 and DS5 was in y3 they walked home together a lot.

Covid actually shat in the soup regarding DS5 gaining a bit of independence.
In September, as he was starting y6 and DD was starting y4 I wanted them to start walking home from together.
but the school decided to separate the years and they weren't allowing siblings to leave the school from the same gate, which meant that DD coming out from a different exit 10 mins earlier by herself, crossing a road on her own then waiting for DS5 to come out was just not feasible.
She's quite sensible so together they would've been fine. but her being alone at that point was a big no.
shame

NeverEnoughCake2 · 05/08/2021 22:18

I agree that covid's definitely clipped their wings a bit this year - lots of little opportunities to develop independence skills have been missed.

DS has been walking to school since year 5 (only two roads to cross, the busy one has a lollipop man). He's only just got a phone so is starting to organise meeting his mates at the park/Costa independently, rather than mums organising on behalf of the kids. He also sometimes goes to practise his favourite sport with some of his teammates (10 min walk to the pitch on his own), but this tends to be set up by a parent as someone needs to bring some relevant kit.

We live near a major river, with lots of riverside open space so the one thing we do veto is going to hang out by the river without an adult present - there's been too many accidents and near misses over the years.

DonGray · 05/08/2021 22:22

Was allowed to walk to and from school alone
Can walk to friends houses, is allowed to park with friends - all local less than 15 mins walk
Can go to local shops
All without a phone as I think it's more of a hindrance tbh

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