Normal 12 yo DS - phone and eating

[feemcgee]

I'm hoping this is just normal 12 yo behaviour, but am not sure. My DS has been really grumpy lately - nothing abnormal there - but he's started being odd with food. He refused to eat tea on Friday as he said he didn't want what I'd made. We went for lunch yesterday and he refused to order as he wasn't hungry. But he'll eat a bag of five cookies. He also had the scales out yesterday. He's constantly on his phone and got really upset when my DH took it off him.
My DN is 11 and is ill with anorexia, I have been really open with my kids about this. I don't know whether he's just trying to make a point as he didn't want to go for lunch yesterday or if we should be properly worried.
I honestly don't know how to handle this, as he refuses to talk to us if we try to ask how he is.

The phone is a separate issue I think.

Why not have a proper conversation with him? Not accusatory just "I care about you and I want you to be well nourished so you grow well, any reason you aren't eating meals?"
Even if he doesn't talk then, open the lines of communication so he can continue to chat with you about it if he needs to.
Could you get him involved with meal time? Pick a recipe together and get him to help cook? Or let everyone in the family pick a meal for each night of the week?
Possibly nothing to worry about but open and honest conversations about food and your relationship with it is only going to be a good thing, particularly with your niece in the back of everyone's mind.

Thank you thisplaceisweird xx

Any progress? Hope things are better

Is your DN getting additional attention that he can see or do you talk about your worries for her at home, where he can hear? Just wondering if it’s a cry for attention from him, as he’s seen it work for her…or jealousy? I think I’d try a fun trip out somewhere (high ropes?) with a lunch and a quick chat in the car (where he can’t escape) would be my first plan.

He seems to have perked up now, I'm just keeping a closer eye on him. He hates talking about his feelings, but I do tell him that I'm hear if he needs to share anything.