12 yr old DD self harming. Don't know what to do

[MrsArchchancellorRidcully]

DD started high school in sept at the girls grammar school. Since returning in March she seemed fine but we've had calls from school. Friday they spotted cuts on her arm and she confessed to having a knife in her room (DH's grapefruit knife) and cutting her arm.

We had a chat over weekend and school have been very supportive. Got another call today saying her friend had found her with a pencil sharpener blade cutting herself. School called us and have taken anything sharp off her.

I've tried to chat to her and she refuses. She says she feels stressed and lonely yet her friends have been amazing, texting her with support. I said she can move to local comp but she freaked out saying she wanted to stay at school. We usually have a close relationship and I don't know how to reach her. It's making me very stressed. She plays sport, she socialises outside school. She seems v normal. Anyone got any advice?

I'm so sorry to hear that MrsArch, it sounds like a very distressing time for all of you.

I haven't got any experience but if you ask @MNHQ to move this over to the Teen or Preteen section, you will probably get some MNers replying who have got experience.

I don't know if this book would help at all either?

Thanks. How do I get it moved? I've never done that.

You can report your own post and in the box that pops up, just ask them to move it

Had it moved. Thanks Mumsnet. Can anyone advise or share things that worked?

I've spoken to her again this morning and asked her why and how can I help and she says she doesn't know. I'm stumped and v concerned.

Sorry you're going through this...I have been there and it's very, very difficult. If she is open to outside help, a therapist for example, find one as soon as you can if funds allow. You can try your GP but from experience any wait for CAMHS help will be long and unproductive. I also suggest joining a FB group called Parenting Mental Health, lots and lots of very practical advice and help from parents who have been there.

Unfortunately I can’t offer advice on how to get it to stop, one thing is to make sure if she is doing it she’s doing it sterile and can clean it up. Make sure you have antiseptic, plasters, steristrips etc available and she can access them. for you both