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Advice needed for pre teen

10 replies

TagsMum · 07/04/2021 15:10

I'm loosing my mind with my 12 year old.

He regularly takes food from the kitchen without permission- lunchbox fillers/snacks, biscuits/crisps etc. Every time I find out, he gets in trouble, he apologies, promises he won't do it again, but then does it again a few days later. I've resorted to hiding the lunch items in my bedroom (one place my kids are NOT allowed, this has been a rule from day 1) but yet he is still sneaking into my bedroom and taking things!
I've tried shouting, I've tried explaining I don't have enough money to keep replacing things, I've tried making him spend his spending money on replacing them but nothing seems to be working.
If he came to me and asked for a snack as he was peckish - then absolutely go ahead and grab a snack. But it's the fact he is sneaking them, and going into my bedroom - where he is definitely NOT allowed. Help, what do I do?!

OP posts:
Christmasfairy2020 · 08/04/2021 18:35

Is he hungry. Why can't he have snacks in cupboard? I buy lots of cereal bars etc from aldi and fruit.

Felic23 · 08/04/2021 23:08

I think at 12 years old he should be allowed to go and get snacks from kitchen without permission. I dont let my 12 year old have snacks before lunch/dinner but other times I dont see the issue. Its his home.

Tanfastic · 08/04/2021 23:19

My 12 year old helps himself. I let him get on with it. Rightly or wrongly 🤷‍♀️

BunnyRuddington · 10/04/2021 12:53

It does sound like he's hungry to me as well.

I found this guide useful when my son was always eating snacks. I think I'd underestimated how many calories he did need and wasn't giving him enough protein either.

I would definitely try to have some snacks he can help himself to in the kitchen though, he's coming up to his teen years and teen boys eat an awful lot.

TagsMum · 10/04/2021 13:12

Yes we have food and snacks regularly available for them to snack on, but I also have a bag with lunchboxy kind of items - penguins, soreen, digestives - you know the sort of individually wrapped things that fill school lunchboxes up. If this was bag was freely available for him to snack on, I would be constantly buying more - like ALL the time, he doesn't know when to stop. I don't have enough money to replacing these numerous times a week. What I'm more concerned about is how he constantly sneaks into my room, that is my husbands and my private space, and he knows the rules.

OP posts:
TagsMum · 10/04/2021 13:14

We always have fruit bowl full to the top, crisps, biscuits and breakfast bars freely available, which he knows he can help himself too.

OP posts:
BunnyRuddington · 10/04/2021 13:24

Lay in that case I'd start making lunch boxes really boring. Sandwich, pack of crisps and a piece of fruit every single day. Piece of fruit fir a snack too or two biscuits in a sandwich bag.

If he complains just tell him he's already eaten all of the nice stuff.

idontlikealdi · 10/04/2021 13:27

Can't you get some other snacks in he can have instead. He sounds hungry. 12yos are generally ravenous.

MelanietheEnglishtutor · 14/04/2021 08:32

If he’s eating the sugary or salty snacks, it might be increasing his hunger. My daughter did this. I started making meals with increased protein and slow-burning carbohydrate such as wholewheat pasta or porridge. She has boiled eggs for breakfast and fruit with nuts as snacks. Cashews are really good if raw and unsalted. It must be difficult if you’re on a budget.

Passthecake30 · 24/04/2021 22:25

I’d buy a pack of snacks for pack lunches (for eg Kit Kat’s) put them in a tub labelled “lunch box” and explain if he eats them before you next do the weekly shop, he will have to have something else in his lunch box (more fruit)

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