Is this the start of something serious?

[SerenaTuccot]

DD9 is average height/weight. She suffers from mild anxiety and is having weekly counselling as I have been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. Plus Covid. So she is dealing with a lot.

Recently she has started talking about her weight a lot. Says she hates her tummy because it sticks out. (It doesn’t). She now refuses to wear tracksuit bottoms because they make her feel fat. She’ll only wear leggings. And last night while chatting to me about all this she admitted she doesn’t even like saying the word fat.

She tells me she is worried she has a disorder. But I see no sign of disordered eating. She finishes her meals, doesn’t seem to be denying herself ‘treats’ etc.

I think her body is starting to change for pre-puberty and that is scaring her. I'm not 100% sure she really knows what an eating disorder is - she's just read about them in Jaqueline Wilson books. But I can't be certain.

Is this the start of something serious? Should I do something now? If so, what?

My DD is 8.5 so a bit younger, but has recently noticed that her best friend is 'much thinner than her'. She is bang on average weight for her height and is also tall; her friend is of a very tiny build. I used it as an opportunity to chat about how a) all bodies are different and change/grow at different times
b) why we make healthy choices; to look after our bodies and make sure we are strong and healthy and can do all the things we want to do.

Sounds like your DD is just noticing her (possibly changing) shape but doesn't have an eating disorder. It is a good time, I think, to chat about healthy eating, body positivity and confidence and making good choices.

I'm not sure about the body image side of things. But it sounds like she has alot going on. I'm really glad she is having weekly counselling and can talk through eveything with a professional. I don't fully understand eating disorders and I hope someone else can offer more helpful advice. But I just wanted to offer some virtual support to you

Thank you @Ploughingthrough and @motheroreily - I really appreciate your replies. It's so tricky to know what to do - and to work our what is 'regular' anxiety and what is specific to eating disorders. Thanks also for your kind wishes. X

Can you speak to her therapist about it? There often aren't signs you would notice. Having the thoughts there is enough to get help and it's great she can talk to you.
Easier to get help and it turn out to be nothing than to ignore if it's something.

So sorry you have so much going wrong right now. It must be so difficult.

Yes we had same issue. I rang weight management for our area and they did her height and weight. But my dd same hates joggers as make feel fat etc. All girls wear sports leggings tbh