Help 10 DD started period

[snappybitch]

Evening. I'm looking for a bit of advice please. My 10 year old daughter (11 next month) began her first period this morning. She was a bit teary over it and quite worried but I've been fussing over her a lot today. I've helped her change her pads today and have done my best to make her think it's an exciting thing and she's turning into a woman etc.
I'm devastated on the inside. She seems so very young. I was 13 when mine started and I hated it. I feel sad that she's not even made it to 11 and she's got this annoying burden already.
Here's the thing, I use a moon cup and have done so for 13 years. I can't bear the feeling of sweaty, crunchy pads. Luckily I had found a few jumbo night sized ones In my drawer for her to use today. I'll be out tomorrow to get her some smaller ones, but can someone please recommend the latest in period comfort? I am not Squeamish so don't mind handling blood. I want her to be comfortable so what is best for a young girl to use nowadays?
When she's a bit older I'll get her a menstrual cup too, but for the next while what would be best for her?
Thanks

I started at age 11( I was quite a chunky kid though) I have an 11 year old special needs Non verbal autistic daughter. She is incontinent. I'm absolutely dreading when she starts.

Just to add that I have a couple of pairs of modibodi (great but expensive), some cheeky period pants (not great - very puffy) and I recently stumbled on the Sainsbury's Tu period pants. £10 a pair and they are fab!! Totally recommend them.

Just remember no softner and don't tumble dry. I add a wee bit of white vinegar to the wash.

OP, I notice you say you’ll get her a mooncup “when she’s a bit older”. Obviously I don’t know what your plan is but my mother refused to buy me tampons because I was “too young”. What followed was years of beach holidays, summer camps and swimming lessons where I awkwardly had to shove pads inside my swimsuit and then take them out quickly before going in the water. (I have no idea what my mum thought I was doing during these times. She certainly never helped me get out of these things!)

So- I have no idea if what you said applies to tampons too but please, give her something to help her with swimming, beaches, water sports. I wish my mum had.

My DD has a bit of everything but mainly uses period pants. She has slim pads (different ones for day and night) as well. And I’ve bought tampons but she has no interest in them so far.

Another vote for period pants here! I recently switched to Flux - you can buy them off the website or Amazon I think and it’s worth googling for a discount code. The pants don’t leak at all even on very heavy days, there is no smell or mess and they are so easy to use and wash. I would have loved them to have been around when I started!

Your DD is also part of a generation that should (hopefully) be much more environmentally conscious that we were. Sanitary pads don’t biodegrade for 800 years - the pads I used when I was 12 will be on Earth longer than my great-great x 10 granddaughter! I can’t bear to think about that now! I’m never going back to pads or tampons.

I tried a mooncup for a while but could never get it to fit quite right and once I read that they’re not regulated or safety tested, I didn’t personally feel comfortable using them - www.bbc.com/news/health-51805689

I'd also recommend modibodi period pants. They really are a revelation! I use them on their own on most days of my period. They absorb an awful lot, most days I'd go through three pairs (one overnight, two in the daytime) so I now have a collection of 8 pairs to always have a clean dry set ready.

Should have said - I've read quite a few recommendations for the Sainsbury's ones on here too.

Period pants are brilliant. Modibodi are pricey but the best quality and have great absorption levels. For a quick fix Sainsbury's sell love luna pants in store.

I am very recent convert to period pants and if I had a daughter I would definitely encourage her to try them.

I have Modibodi which have so far coped with my peri menopause surprises (unpredictable). They go down to a XXS (size 4) and you can try and get a refund (on your first pair) if you don't get on with them.

@FudgeSundae oh absolutely! I would never tell she couldn't use something she wanted to. I just meant that I don't think she'd cope with sticking anything up her vagina just now as she's still so young. I just meant I could show her once's she's a bit more comfortable with having a period in general.

@FraggleShingleBellRock hope your DD is ok today too xx

Sainsbury's tu on line do a range of period pants at a reasonable price

My sister started hers at 10, I think she might even have been in Yr5 actually. She was a bit upset about it but she did get used to it very quickly

I really hate sanitary towels, but the best ones I’ve ever used are the Hey Girls ones. Very soft, unscented and they’re biodegradable too. I can’t comment on period pants as I’ve never used them!

Personally I would try and get her used to changing her pad by herself as soon as possible. She will need to do it herself when she goes back to school, and hopefully she’ll feel a bit more in control when she can take herself to the bathroom and change things? Obviously I don’t know your daughter though!

I really feel for you both, my DD was only 8. We hadn't even had "the talk" as it never occurred to me she'd start that young so it was quite traumatic for us both.

I just made sure she was prepared. Little zip up bag for school with pads, disposal bags, wipes and spare knickers. Of course now you have period pants and I wish we'd had them then.

My DD is 22 now and no worse off for her experience! She'll be ok, I promise

Thanks again for the recommendations. I went and ordered the modibodi ones. I bought a bundle for her. Very expensive but if it makes her life that little bit easier, then it's worth it.
@TheFormidableMrsC omg 8! I would have found that traumatic as well. The realistic side of my brain knows she will be fine. All women do this and will learn to cope. It's just that mum part that is so sad that's she's suddenly not so little now I guess. 😢

@snappybitch Yes it was a bit rough at the time but we got through. She was still an 8 year old girl and having periods didn't really change that thankfully. I didn't start treating her like she was a teenager. She was still my little girl and yours is too

My DD was same age and having a sleepover with her friend 40 miles away. I got the phone call from the friend, half panic half excitement, what do we dooooo, my parents aren't here!! ?

Called the mum and got her sorted pretty quickly. When she came home she was a mix of emotions. She's now 13 and takes it with a pinch of salt and even puts her sanitary requirements on alexa.

We did go through the embarrassment of dad knowing so she was using her pocket money to buy what she needed phase but it's all open now (and full refund given!!) .

@KeepSmiling89

Hi OP. I'm not a mother so unfortunately can't sympathise, but I can share what my mum did when I hit mine when I was 13 ( I'm 31 now).

My mum was a teacher and talked it through with a book explaining the ins and outs of it all.
Pain wise...mine used to be REALLY bad - had to go home from school one time I remember (think it was my first actually). Eventually went on the pill because if the pain. Now they're not so bad (I'm off the pill now TTC), I use hot water bottles when I need them and just relax when I can. Paracetamol can help too if your DD needs them.
It sounds like you're doing all the right things in terms of comforting her, explaining that it is exciting etc. It can't be easy given she is a few years younger than you were when you got your first period...it might be helpful to tell her that, when her friends start going through this, she can tell them about her experience and comfort them if they need it. I remember being in a 'club' when I was about 10 or so talking about grown-up girl stuff. Just a group of about 5 of us talking in the playground etc.

Hope that helps in some way. All the best to you and your DD.

Just in case people are not aware, ibuprofen is far superior to paracetamol for actual cramps.

Unlike paracetamol, NSAIDs like ibuprofen actually block the prostaglandins that cause the uterine cramping.

I suffered more than I needed to for over 10 years with cramps that were as painful as labour contractions before learning this. The trick for really bad cramps is to start taking ibuprofen 1-3 days before your period is due. Paracetamol never touched the edges of the pain, but this brought it down to maybe half an hour of real pain, then nothing that couldn’t be eased with a hot water bottle and a stiff upper lip!

Another vote for period pants here. My 11year old started a year ago and I was also really sad for her as it felt too young. Period pants have made all the difference as she just wears them all day, no leaks, no having to carry pads to the loo in front of the class- they are amazing.

ModiBody period undies. Game changer.

I wish period pants had been around when I was younger they sound brilliant. I would explain all the options to her and let her decide which she would like to try, let her know she can try a few different options until she knows whats best for her. My mum refused to let me use tampons even though I was very sporty and hated pads which led to me stealing my aunties super plus tampons which weren't exactly the idea fit for a 10 year old!

Always sensitive are pretty good too, if she ends up having to use more than just period pants on a heavy day.

I was amazed recently at how much pads have changed. I use the Always sensitive ones every month and find them fine. Last month I found a few pads from approx 5-8 years ago in an old handbag so decided to use them up. God, they were so much stiffer and "crunchier" than the ones available now! I hadn't noticed the improvement over the years!!

I was 9 when I started and my flow was really heavy from the start. Period pants probably wouldn’t have worked for me without at least a couple of pads. Try a soft thin maternity pad if she finds normal pads uncomfortable - you can get them in a variety of lengths now and they may be more comfortable.

My daughter was also 10 when she started (I was gutted for her, she looked too little to be dealing with periods) but thankfully she only had a couple and then nothing for over a year before they started again more regularly.

She uses lil-let’s teen pads as they’re smaller than normal pads.

I’ve not seen the period pants but going to look into them! - do they just go in the washing machine?

Mine also started early at age 10. Any tips to help with tampon use? She's a club swimmer and has been missing sessions whenever she has a period. I've gone through the leaflets with her and we've watched a video by Olympic swimmer Rebecca Adlington (on lillets YouTube channel) but she still doesn't have the confidence to try them.

10 is a pretty normal age, she'll be fine, just be open and support her and give her chocolate.

I was 10, my sister was only 8. Make sure she understands what's happening and maybe knows that it's not forever (menopause, some BC)