Periods in primary school

[dippyegg32]

My daughter has started her period during this lockdown. She is in Year 6, she's 10, 11 in May. I know after 8 is deemed "normal" but she still seems so young.

We're both very thankful she has started whilst at home and hopefully the first couple will be before schools reopen.

She was fully prepared btw. We've had lots of chats, had a stock of supplies ready and she's had some bits in her school bag for a while. She came and told me straight away.

What's upset her is the fear of being the only one at school. Obviously neither of us know for sure and it's certainly not our business but just how common is it really during primary? FWIW I wasn't much older, 11.5, but in secondary.

She's always tracked the 98th centile for height since birth. She's currently 5'1. Is she likely to continue this trajectory and reach a red book predicted height of 5'9 (im 5'4, her dad 5'11). Or now she's started her period will her growth tail off?

Thank you.

@Subordinateclause

The average age to start is now 11 in the UK so not unusual for several girls in any primary class.

Wow. Seems so young. When I was at school we were all about 14 I think.

I'm 35 now

My dd was a late starter amongst her friends at 12. She wasn't 7 stone. She was year 7.

She's hardly grown since and at 24 she can still fit in a pair of cropped jeans she had then!

She was the tallest in her class aged 7. She's 5 foot three now!

I was 11 when I started (and I'm 47) as was my mum (76) and so was dd (17).

Its not a precise weight that triggers it but a body fat percentage. Early puberty starts under the age of 8

@louisejxxx, I think the key thing is not to have “the chat” but to just gradually drip feed. We were lucky in that DCs’ school did a very gradual process from “it’s important that keep yourselves clean” and “here’s how caterpillars turn into butterflies” in reception through to changing bodies in y3, periods in y4, sex in y5, peer pressure and porn in y6. All done in age appropriate ways. But in terms of periods the discussions happened naturally - when they were tiny they would come into the toilet with me and although I was discrete about the actual tampon changing they saw me getting things out of my bag and putting things in bins so asked questions. So there was never “the chat” as such (though I do remember being with her in the toilet at a restaurant for a long time as she had constipation and her asking me questions about periods and sex - luckily it was a proper enclosed room not just a cubicle!)

I was nearly 14 before I started mine! I’m pretty sure I was one of the last in the year. I’d just given up competitive swimming, so the link to body fat percentage makes sense. I developed breast buds in year 6 of primary school... then not much else until late teens! I am a perfectly normal 5’ 6” and tended to slightly taller than the average throughout school.

My own DD is 10 and 5’ 1”. I’ve no idea when she’ll start. On DH’s side of the family girls tend to start at 9 and 10 years old, so she’s been ready for a while. On the one hand I hope she doesn’t start too early. On the other hand, as rubbish as periods are, I felt very left out being one of the last to start so I don’t wish that on her either!

I believe that growth slows when puberty kicks in properly so she may be more your height than 5ft 9?
Is it a middle school with different teachers for each subject?

Hi OP @dippyegg32 my older DD started at age 10 in year six (I was 12 but my MIL started quite early) and was also quite tall, I'm 5'4" too and her dad is 6', she's now the same height as me at 15, there were 2 other girls in her class of 30 that started around the same time, the teachers were really really lovely and very supportive at school if she needed anything.

By the way I was 11 and my mum (79) was 10.

@dippyegg32

Yes we have a stock of modibodis ready! They cost over £100 for a pack so I hope they work!!

I use modibodis and they are brilliant. Was coming on here to recommend them as they make life so much easier.

@drspouse no it's an independent school.

Just weighed her she's 5st 10lb and is a rake. She fits into her 6yo sister's shorts and skirts just fine.

Its not about weight as such though, its body fat %

Just double checked it seems 11 is average age worldwide and UK (according to NHS) is 12. It's definitely a lot younger than 20-30 years ago, hence people being surprised at primary pupils starting. In fact those of us who work in primaries know it's not particularly unusual.

www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/society/2020/feb/10/girls-puberty-year-earlier

This suggests the start of puberty has only shifted by 1 year since the 70s

I work in primary too but KS1! Also dd is my first so I'm learning myself.

@louisejxxx I felt exactly the same as you when DD was 8, I felt she wouldn't understand and it would probably scare her. She's now in year 6, and will be turning 11 in March but hadn't started hers yet. I think it's around a year since I talked to her about it and she was fine at that point. I took the chance after her friend was talking about them really loudly walking along the street after school, I can't remember exactly how I broached the subject, I think it was just something like "that really wasn't the time or the place for *** to be discussing that subject so loudly" in a sort of jokey way, because DD had been looking really embarrassed and dragged me on down the street 😂 Then I asked if they'd talked about it at school yet and she said yes and I asked if she wanted to ask me anything - she had loads of questions.

For those of you whose girls have started, how long was it generally after other changes started? DD gets awful migraines and MIL is adamant she's about to start hers but she's only JUST started to get breast buds, I always thought it was generally a while after that? She has had migraines for years so I don't think they necessarily mean anything.

Another recommendation for modibodi period pants. My DD started a week before her 11th birthday. The first amongst her yr 6 friends, when they started she was deemed the coolest girl in class. The period pants are a game changer, she no longer feels awkward taking her bag to the toilets.

A lot of children are going to miss their usual sex and relationship lessons - schools may prioritise making sure they happen but can't plan for the fact that some children will inevitably have been isolating at home, possibly ill. So more than ever we need to make sure we as parents are addressing this stuff.
I say this as someone who was given the school sessions about this way after is was practically needed. I was just pleased I went to a middle school, y5-y8, so it was discreet as most of the girls' toilets were suitably equipped.

My daughter started pubity at age 8, had bad BO, hairs in unwanted places etc - we laughed about it and have a great open relationship. She started her period just a couple of months ago aged 12 and year 7 at high school. I had prepped her well in advance before hand and she handled it brilliantly when it happened at school and told me straight away. I think the most important thing you can do with a girl, at any age, is be open and honest well in advance so that they know what to expect and that they can talk to you about it without feeling silly. The period pants are great but I wouldn’t solely rely on them. They’re best on a night over pants with a pad for extra security. Just my opinion.

@Glitterblue exactly 28months between onset of buds to first period for dd with all the other changes happening in between.

I started my period at just turned 11 in year 6 (a long time ago now) and I wasn't the only one even then. It's had zero lasting effects on me and I learnt to cope with it well. I was very tall too, I think about 5'4 then and I stopped growing at 5'6 so she may grow a couple more inches yet. I shouldn't imagine she will be 5'9 (according to whatever chart I was on I was going to be 5'11!)
I have an 8 year old DD who I am certain will follow the same trajectory, perhaps may start even a little earlier. We chat about periods, and I've told her that she will probably be one of the first ones to start and that is all normal. I hope by the time it comes round she won't be too concerned even if it takes a while to get used to.
Your DD will be okay, and I'm sure if there isn't others in her class already that it won't be long before a few more join her.

I'm a secondary school science teacher so never had 'the chat' with Dd it was just part and parcel of what we talked about normally, particularly if I was teaching puberty and reproduction at the time. I'd get up a picture of the female reproductive system on our tablet and we'd label it together and then I'd show her the menstrual cycle animation which shows what happens inside the body and talk that through. She likes trying out the resources I use in class so it was no different to her trying out stuff for Electricity or making a water filter for Separation Techniques.

If you are nervous about how to approach the topic home learning offers a brilliant chance to discuss it. Look at different organ systems within the body, perhaps find some resources for the Skelton or get some lambs hearts from Tesco and do a heart dissection and talk about the cardio vascular system and then just fit the reproductive system in as well. It doesn't need to be a BIG chat, just discuss it nonchalantly like you would telling her how the muscles in her arm works.

I was 10, 45kg, and 5’4’’. Secondary sex characteristics came within a year or so. Ended up 5’8’’, and 53kg.
Am so glad for young girls that sanitary wear has progressed from huge looped towels and sanitary belts! In my day, we were told that tampons were for married women!

@Subordinateclause

The average age to start is now 11 in the UK so not unusual for several girls in any primary class.

Bloody hell I started at 15!

“Tampons were for married women” 🤣🤣

Sounds like your DD’s growth will slow down a bit OP listening to other poster’s.

My dd is 5ft 7 and 12 years old,no periods yet but I think it will be in the next 6-12 months. I didn’t start til I was 14 but I wasn’t as tall as my DD. Her Dad and I are tall so I’m not surprised. Bit weird that she’s nearly as tall as me though!

My 12 yo uses modibodi. They are great.