Should I allow him to stay up later?

[ZigZagToTheBeach]

DS10 is almost 11 and we ask him to get into bed around 8-8:15pm but then we may read to him for 15-20 minutes and he always continues reading until lights out around 9-9:15pm. He gets plenty of sleep and always seems refreshed and certainly not sleep deprived, always awake in time for school.

Recently he has started getting upset at us asking him to go to bed around 8pm. Part of me can see his point of view as we do not put his lights out until around an hour later, although he LOVES reading. What is putting me off a later bed time though is:

1. DS9 has always gone to bed at the same time in his own bedroom but he only reads until 8:30pm as he needs more sleep. They both fall to sleep more easily if they read in bed before lights out. After a lifetime of having the same bedtime, DS9 is going to be really upset at being expected to go to bed earlier than his brother. A later bedtime wouldn't suit him.
   
2. I really do not want to give up another hour of my evening having spent all day with two full on children, who I adore, but am exhausted by. Selfish I know. I fully appreciate though that at some point DS10 is going to have to start to go to bed later..
   
   Any thoughts or experiences to share?
   Thanks for getting this far. I've even bored myself typing this out!

[InTheLongGrass]

I'm getting close to moving my 9yr old's bed time to 9pm, and his 11 yr old brothers to 9.30.
Both are wide awake by 6.30, if not before.

Would DS2 know if his brother got ready for bed at normal time, and then came downstairs for a bit? I dont choose the TV after 8, but I do insist it is Mummy friendly - so I object to kids stuff, try to push him to Nature stuff, and often suffer border force or police interceptors!!!

[ZigZagToTheBeach]

@InTheLongGrass thanks for the reply. I think DS2 would know that his brother was staying up later yes. I think this is something I need to figure out though.

I like the idea of insisting that TV or whatever is Mummy friendly.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

I'd let him stay up half an hour longer too and also insist that any tv was adult friendly.

DS2 might not like going to bed a little earlier but DS is older and will be doing rather a lot of things that he won't be able to do, like starting high school and learning to drive

[TigerQuoll]

Can you just tell them that when they are 11 they are more grown up, so will have more privileges but more responsibility. More privileges can be a later bedtime (only allowed so long as they get up for school without you pushing them and get ready on time etc), more responsibility can be whatever chores you'd like them to do. DS9 shouldn't get too upset at having to go to bed earlier if he doesn't have to unpack the dishwasher every morning (for example).