How can I teach my children to be Generous and not Stingy
Jesusisking · 15/11/2020 03:07
Hello Lovely mumsnet,
I notice that my kids 13 & below don't like to spend their money, they always keep them & hold very very tight on them, I am actually worried about that.
Pls how can I teach them to be generous & kind with their money.
I spend a lot ( reasonably anyway ) on them but they hold very tight on any money that is theirs. Thanks
Mintjulia · 15/11/2020 03:16
Surely the point is the money is theirs to do what they want with it. Not yours!
My ds is 12.He's saving for a car I'm proud of him not blowing it on sweets & computer games.
Rainbowqueeen · 15/11/2020 03:30
We have half pocket money goes into savings account and half is for spending. Would that work in your family?
Also its modelling what you want to see. As kids they probably don’t think much about you spending money on them - that’s what they think parents are supposed to do. Focus on modelling what you spend on others. Get them involved in Xmas purchases. Get them to help think of ideas for family. If you buy gifts for teachers, the postie etc, are they aware of this? If you repay kindness shown to you with wine or flowers, make sure your kids know why you are doing it
You might not see results right away but that’s kids for you. All you can do is model the behaviour you want to see
Aria2015 · 15/11/2020 03:31
@Jesusisking hmmm interesting question.
Could it be that because they don't have a regular source of income, that they hold onto their money because they don't know when and by how much they might accumulate more? If yes, perhaps they'll become more generous when they do get jobs and have a steady income?
I think generosity is part personality but I also think people can learn to become more generous too. I know some people who are naturally a bit tight with money but because they know it's an off putting trait, they force themselves to be more generous so that people don't view them as stingy.
I'll always remember a friend at school would charge us petrol money for lifts even when she'd be driving that way anyway. She never lived down her reputation for being tight! Reputations are quite important to tweens and teenagers so maybe you could point out that stinginess is not a good look!
Also, could you encourage them to treat each other? With Christmas coming up, you could tell them that now they're getting older, it would be nice if they started to buy their siblings / grandparents a small gift. You can emphasise how gift giving is a way of showing someone that you value them. Remind them of all the gifts they've benefited from and enjoyed over the years. The positive reaction they get from buying and giving a gift may encourage them to be more generous in the future. I personally get a lot of pleasure seeing people made happy by a thoughtful gift I've given them. It's one of the things that drives me to do it in the first place.
Also, I'd drive hone the importance of being sensible with money (avoiding debt etc...) but also balanced with the 'you can't take it with you when you're dead' attitude. It's about a balance.
Jesusisking · 15/01/2021 03:59
Thank you Aria & everyone for your great advice . really appreciated
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