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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

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Original poster

10 year old DDs negative behaviour

12 replies

LittleLadyCece · 30/10/2020 14:14

My 10 year old DDs behaviour has becoming increasingly negative and its so draining on us all including her! I've really tried hard to bring her round, encourage her to see the positive side and not dwell on the negativity but its becoming so hard.

She complains from the moment she gets up until she goes to bed. Nothing major - more like she doesn't like whats for breakfast/dinner/tea, she's not happy with what she's wearing (she chooses her own clothes), always some sarky comment to be had. Its just so draining that sometimes I know I end up feeding the fire. I have to actively stop myself and think stay calm dont get annoyed it won't help any of us.

I know she's getting to that age where she's trying to assert control etc. but any tips to help us along the way please?

OP posts:

Strawberry33 · 31/10/2020 01:13

I feel like this about my 14 year old. It’s hard. I’m sure it’s a phase and I’m praying we will come out the other side soon!
I think sometimes just keeping a sense of humour helps- their behaviour is ridiculous! And sometimes having a quiet little laugh about it is all you can do. X

purpleme12 · 31/10/2020 01:14

Oh god I feel like this and mine's 7!!

creaturcomforts · 31/10/2020 01:44

Of god yes, since the age of 10 ,to 13, my dd is like this but doesnt seem genuinely upset about anything, just constant griping and whinging. It can be about anything , was often on the way to school and told me that It was against her human rights to send her to school!!

I think as pp has suggested it's a power play and they will grow out of it although I've often wondered why, it's like picking battles for the sake of it and I've just learnt to ignore it unless dd goes to far, then I suggest the behaviour is unfair to others.

I'll sometimes do the same back, jokingly just to point out how frustrating it is or change the subject, is it just girls that do this?

Original poster

LittleLadyCece · 31/10/2020 06:46

Its so good to hear your similar stories. I was also wondering if its just girls. I've got a friend with DSs and she's said they'll have a moan but nothing on the scale that my DD can go to.....makes me wonder if I was like that as a child....my poor mum!!

OP posts:

Inthesameboatatmo · 31/10/2020 07:21

I think its just girls unfortunately, my sin was never like this , she will grow out if though, hopefully soon

cupidsabsolutepsyche · 01/11/2020 20:51

My 10 year old DD is the same! Oh it drives me potty, and we've had a conversation about the negativity rubbing off on others but I think it must be the precursor to teen years because, of course, I'm annoying for trying to be positive! It's not constant, and she enjoys things a lot, but where there is a gripe to be had...
This week's was brown bread and I am terrible for giving it to her..

Lurcherloves · 25/11/2020 23:14

My 10 year old DD is the same it’s very draining. I’m relieved to read that other people are going through the same (sorry!) but it does make me feel like it must be normal. I’ve spoke to her tonight about appreciating things and think I will start a daily gratitude list with her to try to change the habit

Scrunchcake · 26/11/2020 22:16

Definitely not just girls. tears hair out

celticmissey · 26/11/2020 22:29

Yep my 10 year old dd is exactly the same! I told her she's so good at complaining I'm going to give her a certificate in it so she can show it to her teacher!

Seriouslymole · 27/11/2020 13:49

Not just girls - my DD (age 10) is a constant delight and little-miss-sunshine. Her world is always glass half full. She can put a positive spin on the most miserable of circumstances and as such, when she's sad, I know she's really sad - but she is honestly, generally a joy to be around.

DS (age 12) was totally different kettle of fish. If he won £1000 he ask why it wasn't £1005. He was constantly disappointed with life. He seems to have changed slightly since moving to secondary school and is much more positive so I wonder if a lot of it was that he was just a bit bored.

10 seems to be that age, even DD with her positive outlook is getting slightly fed up at primary school.

blossomsarepretty · 28/12/2020 10:13

Just came across this..my DD10 has been moody and negative for a while, and she has been so difficult to be around this whole holiday. Glad it's not just me.

Ticklemycarpets · 30/12/2020 00:47

Mine is too. We have started doing a gratitude journal at night and it has helped (she has to write down 5 or Sotho hadron the day that we're good or that she is grateful for.

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