Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

12 year old - situation

1 reply

sdmk · 29/10/2020 05:05

Hi all, my 12 year old daughter is a little immature, born late in the year, lovely and sweet but has anxiety and is eager to please her friends. Very sensitive to criticism. So she wore her new winter jacket to school, which is a shorter style of jacket. And of course a couple of girls had to comment on the length of the jacket, also, what size is your jacket? Can you wear it next winter? Weird questions as far as I'm concerned, which I think were out of jealousy. Either way, her friend's mom let me know that her daughter told her that my daughter didn't wear her jacket outside at lunch because of this situation. So obviously she was feeling insecure about the interrogation about the jacket. We talked about it tonight, and I think I handled it properly. Now my issue is...I actually never wanted her to get the short jacket, I wanted her to get the longer one but she was very stubborn about it and I gave in. Now she wants to swap this one out for a longer one. Which I actually do want her to do. But am I giving in to her doing this because perhaps she wants to 'please' or placate these other girls who were giving her a hard time? I don't want to fix everything for her when life goes wrong but at the same time...I actually think she should have a longer winter jacket! I was never supported in any situation I was in as a preteen/teen so I have trouble navigating these things. Thank you.

OP posts:
LeGrandBleu · 29/10/2020 05:16

IT is too late to teach her that lesson now. The lesson about being displeased, criticised, not having it your way, having m mummy fixing everything have to come a lot earlier when they are toddlers and young children, not in the delicate, difficult and confusing teenage years.
Standing up for oneself and owning idea is not an easy process if you haven't practised it for years, especially if she has anxiety.

Swap the jacket .

THen, when lockdown allows it, look for Krav Maga, Boxing or Parkour classes which will help with confidence. AT the same time, at home, not outside or in front of strangers, if sometimes you would have made a comment but not done it to protect or not offend her, be honest whilst being kind. Resilience is like a muscle , it needs practise

New posts on this thread. Refresh page