11 yo DS needs constantly chased to complete tasks

[Elisabella01]

I am exasperated. I’m a single parent and my DS is a lovely kid but I need to chase him to get out of bed 3/4/5 times every morning. Then I need to remind him to brush his teeth every single day, get dressed etc. I just don’t have the time to be following him around making sure he does everything he needs to do. I’ve make him a check list but he doesn’t bother to check it!

Also, anytime I ask him to do anything he huffs and strops. I watched another kid on his sports team being sent back to the car to get equipment he forgot and he didn’t even hesitate. He just ran right back with no disrespect, no back chat, no moaning, huffing, eye rolling, sighing... it was alien to watch. It’s not even like I let him away with any of this.

Any help would be amazing, thank you!

I've got one of those too. His brother turned out fine so I don't know where we went wrong! I'll just be here in silent solidarity, waiting to hear about a magic wand we can wave at them 😁

Let’s be friends!! I hope someone has some advice for us but I’m glad I’m not alone!

I hope so too! Does yours have a room that is a disaster area too?

Yup!! Washing on the floor when the washing basket is in the corner of the room...

Oh yes, drives me mad! I don't wash it unless it goes in the basket. When he does tidy up I get stuff that hasn't been worn, he just couldn't be bothered to put it away 😤

Are we raising the same child??

There can't be more than one can there? 😂

Welcome to my world! 😂 Jokes aside, I think my son has ADD. I'm trying to get to grips with it but it's hard.

Welcome to the club Buster!

Why do you think he had ADD? What are the symptoms? I've frequently thought mine isn't quite right so maybe it's a possibility....although I may be clutching at straws here.

Yes mine is 12
Recently diagnosed with dyslexia and awaiting adhd referral, but there’s not much doubt.
Mixed with puberty it’s actually a living nightmare.
It’s making me so miserable.

Have you read "Get Out Of My Life, but First Take Me And Alex To The Shops"? It's a book on parenting teens. It covers this beautifully, funnily enough was just talking to DH about it this morning.

They say that teens exist in a constant state of wanting to feel good, and therefore they don't want to do anything that doesn't feel good, so they put it off...

The options basically appear to be a. Accept that you'll be nagging for rather a lot of years or b. Accept that they won't do pretty much everything.

It's a good book, very readable and does make a lot of sense.

Completely normal, my advice is to pick and choose your battles and make pocket money conditional on chores/routine tasks being completed

There are many reasons I think he has ADD, he's on the SEN register at school but nothing is officially diagnosed, he procrastinates over everything unless he actually enjoys the task, he cannot make any decisions at all even what he wants for for dinner, he loses everything all the time, he's appears to be lazy to everyone else, he's clever but he gets bored therefore his teachers don't really realise, he doesn't appear to need much sleep and chats for hours at bedtime, he's a non stop talker, he was born extremely premature so therefore has a much higher chance of it.

Just writing all of that is exhausting and really quite depressing. Home schooling has done me in. No peace.....No space....

He's just turned 12, and will not go to sleep by himself.

@BusterGonad does sound like ADHD. It's quite wearing. Especially the talking.

Very tiring, he's not hyperactive though so I'm thinking ADD, my husband agrees and he's worked with SEN kids all his career. Home schooling has really shown the issues for what they are. Feeling a bit better today as we've all had a good night's sleep.